Dear Scott..

January 15 (Part 2)

I stepped into your home and my mouth immediately dropped open. If I wouldn't have known you I would have thought you were rich or something.

Chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and white curtains hanging in the dining room, living room, and the kitchen, well as much as I could see at least. You seemed to notice my incredible reaction when you chuckled and flicked the light switch. Once again, I stand there in awe. Candles lit around the place along with lighting up the huge chandeliers. It was a breathtaking sight. Turning to you, I simply smiled and lightly giggled. I didn't want to act too surprised. You had way more money than I have ever had.

"I see you're already enjoying yourself?" You crack up and pat my back.

"Oh, um, yeah this place is gorgeous!" I said as my eyes gleamed, still looking around.

"Well thank you. I didn't buy all of this, obviously," you laugh, "when my parents left there was nobody else that knew where they kept all their money except for me. So I was loaned it."

"Where's your parents?"

"Um, well you see," you walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. You pat beside you for me to approach. "About a year ago they died.."

"Oh my god! I'm sorry Scott I didn't mean to.."

"No! No, it's okay. They died in a car accident. It was a very sad time, yes, but all of this stuff in my house is like a permanent memory of them. Something that will stay here for awhile so I can cherish all of it and relive that time."

"I'm very very sorry for your loss." That's all I can say. You opened up with something so awful, yet such a significant piece of your life and I am actually happy that you trusted me with information such as this. You stand up and reach out for my hand. I politely take it, confusion shows obviously on my face.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," You twirl me around and laugh, "just be sorry about how cute you are because it's literally killing me right now." I blush and look down, but you have other plans. You lift my chin up and stare into my eyes. "You know I kind of confessed my love for you when I kissed you yesterday." I remember. I remember every single detail. Your lips felt so soft and delicate, but craved something more. I blush just at the thought of kissing you. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME SCOTT!

"So, what?"

"Yeah, I don't know. All I know is that you like me and I like you and that not even your parents can fucking keep you away from me." I cringe at the memory of what my parents probably think of me right now and how I ran away with some "boy" that they never knew about and don't approve of. I mean, I guess I'm old enough to live alone like you. Although you really don't have a choice. Whatever it takes, I'm staying away from my mother and father. I refuse to go to therapy for something that I have no control over and that can't be fixed in the slightest.

"Mitchy?" You say interrupting my thoughts.

"What?"

"You were zoning out."

"Oh," I laugh, "and did you just call me Mitchy?"

"Yes, yes I did." You smile proudly and I back away from you to cover my face, blushing.

"Why," I say between laughing.

"Because," you pull me close again, "I like to give nicknames and that nickname for you is super cute," you say imitating me. You really do pay attention to me I guess. I call a lot of things cute. Oops.

You notice my lack of finding the right words. I don't really know what has gotten in to me. I'm trying to be as stable as I can right now, but with everything that has just happened I find it extremely difficult to just forget about it that fast.

"Mitchy?"

"There you go again," I smirk and laugh at you. But your face totally serious and I'm brought aback. "What is it Scott?" I work up the nerve to ask you.

"You just aren't acting like yourself. I know you had a rough time with your parents and your best friend. I'm so sorry about all of that. I wish I could do something." I look around, avoiding your stare. Why are you sorry? This isn't even your fault. None of it is. It's mine for being a disgrace to my family. I wish I could take everything back, but there's another part of me that is happy with the way everything played out. 

"Scott?"

"Yes?"

I take a breath. 

"Where do we go from here?"

You stare at me for a little bit and I feel like I asked a question that I shouldn't have asked. I mean, it is all confusing. I don't know where to go anymore. Megan isn't an option and neither are my parents, obviously. The whole school hates me now and you are the only person that really understands me and cares about me at this point. I wish there was something I could do about all of this, to be completely honest. It frustrates me that I can't. I hate how people can be so fucking rude to people just because they maybe have a difference interest on who they love. It is sickening. Truly sickening. 

"Um..you can stay here Mitch. I know it is complicated and just different, but I have a lot of feelings for you, Mitch. And I refuse to leave you alone to wander around like you have been doing. Plus you need to go back to school."

The thought of school makes me shudder and I completely forget about how you said you have a lot of feelings for me until I think back to what you said. 

"Mitchy, you're pale. Are you sure you're okay?"

"School, Scott.. I can't I can't..."

"Hey, hey, hey. You're forgetting something. I am here now to protect you. And if they beat you for being gay, might as well fucking fight me too, you know? And if anyone steps up for THAT then they must be pretty strong." You laugh. I laugh back. I feel better. I feel safe. Is this how your significant other is supposed to make you feel? I love it.

I'm sitting in your bedroom right now. You let me use the bed. You said if we were to share beds it wouldn't be on the first night I spend the night. Reasonable. Understandable. Smart. I like you a lot. 

"You writing about me in your journal there Mitchy?"

You're so stupid it makes me laugh. But you're my kind of stupid. And I love it haha. I'm trying to hide what I'm writing and it isn't really going that well. I'll write later, long day, I'm tired. You just lied down and told me you love me and I know I'll be having sweet dreams tonight.

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I AM BACK! Just a filler update I guess? Not so sure. Tell me what you think! -Rayven