Ophelia's Daughter (Steve X OC)

Chapter 10 - Siblings

TW -- Suicide

Today I decided to dress up, I wore a black high waist pinstripe skirt with a leather belt and a metal chain that wrapped up one shoulder and down to a skirt pocket, a white button down silk top tucked into the skirt, and studded ankle boots. Natasha has been upgrading my clothes slowly to build my self esteem..she really likes leather. I put my hair up in a bun and wore my usual glasses. I had to make a presentation to some of the lab workers and engineering staff about updates to the Quinjets, that will make them faster and more energy efficient. What I didn't know was that the Avengers were going to be there as well...Thanks Tony for the not so fucking heads up.

I stood in the front of the room waiting for the last Avenger (Steve) to walk in followed by Loki who blushed red when he saw my outfit. Making this..that..much..more..awkward...

I was frustrated by the whole thing. I didn't want to do this. I commanded everyone to pay attention since Steve and Bucky were talking and Loki was making stupid remarks, making Sam laugh. CHILDREN I SWEAR....

I spoke about the changes the jets will get and how the engineering staff will need to adjust the scheduling. 

"Uh....There should be two jets out of commission at a time, during this process. Significantly reducing possible long distance ops. Captain Rogers, you are in charge of off base missions, please make the necessary changes needed with the agents. Natasha and Clint, you will be the first to learn the upgrades once they are in place on the first jet, it will be up to you to teach the rest of the pilots. Hopefully if this goes smoothly the upgrades will only take a month." I look around the room. Everyone understood their assignments and nodded. Steve just kept staring at me and Bucky wouldn't look my way. "Any questions?"

"Why am I not with Natasha and Clint to learn the upgrades?" Bucky stood up with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry....I... I didn't know you could pilot. I'll let the agents in charge of the upgrades include you on the preliminary training. Anything else?"  I look around for a second about to lose my mind, this was more than I was used to talking to people. "Good, dismissed." I walked out first trying to avoid everyone. I make my way to the labs. I had a lot of work to do. Besides the jet upgrades there were fixes on most of the Avengers gears I had to work on. They only trusted me and Tony to do them now.

Steve walked in, I ignored him as usual. He knocked on the door frame to try and get my attention. I looked up and gave him a small smile. "How can I help you Captain Rogers?" He flinched at the formality. 

"Can we talk, at some point?" I sigh grabbing my lab coat then went to sit down at my desk. "Please Aspen, I need to at least say sorry."

"You just said it." I don't take my eyes away from the arrows Clint asked me to adjust.

He sighs and places his hands on his hips in frustration. "I miss....I miss being around you. You made things around here, better. Look I know what I did was unforgivable..."

"You're wrong, I forgave you for that a while ago." I still don't look up avoiding eye contact. I knew where this was going and it hurt too much to admit to myself it had to happen sooner or later.

"Then...why...?" He looked confused and angry.

"...have I been avoiding you?" I finally look up at him. I could see he was still heartbroken in his eyes. "Because I can't control myself around you. Regardless of what you did.... I still want to desperately be near you, I can't... do that. My mother is still out there trying to kill me for what I know. Fury is only protecting me because I refuse to give him everything I know. Your presence is a luxury Rogers, I can't afford it. And....Your friendship with Bucky, is something I can't destroy, like I have everything else in my life." I take a deep breath wiping a stray tear that made it out my  eye. "Please...just...just go"