PTSD. That's what Sky had. There was no official diagnosis (like we could afford a doctor, ha), but it was kind of obvious. He couldn't unsee how unhappy Eli made Mom, which was a good thing, really. Forgetting it would be bad for him. But remembering was bad for him, too.
Depression. I was starting to suspect that's what I had. Again, no diagnosis, but I wasn't stupid. I knew the signs. I knew that depression wasn't really sadness, but feeling nothing. And I knew what that felt like. There was also the fact that.... ugh, I couldn't tell Sky. I couldn't tell anyone what was going on. I only got accepted into this school to give information. I wasn't paying for it. If I became a burden, they'd throw me out.
I didn't have anyone I could talk to about this stuff. Grey was a great friend, but not a very serious one. He'd care, but he wouldn't know what to say. Tempest would teach me first aid for my injuries, but she's no therapist. Of course I could tell Sky, but it would break him. No, Sky couldn't know. Sky couldn't know about the grocery store or that one training session or those people online. None of it. Sky couldn't know.
In the meantime, it's not like Sky would notice. He was always, always working on his song. I couldn't wait to hear it. Neither could Grey. He had never had the privilege of hearing Sky sing. I told him sorry, but I was always the first to hear a new song. I told him I'd let him know how amazing it was. It would be amazing. It was the one thing in the world I never had any doubts about.
I decided I didn't want to participate in the talent show. Lord Grantham had encouraged me to do a debate act, but I was sick of him. I wouldn't be adding any entertainment to his precious talent show. I was excited for Sky, but if it weren't for him, I wouldn't even be watching the talent show. It was a pointless excuse for rich kids to show off, and I didn't want to be a part of it.
"Why?" someone asked. People were starting to threaten me less, but clearly just because they were scared of Sky. As my dear uncle would say, progress.
"I don't belong here," I replied. "I don't feel the need to participate in something so superficial, when I'm leaving here as soon as my dad is defeated and I can afford a house." If I survive that long, I added in my head.
If there was one thing I knew, it was that I couldn't handle this alone. I couldn't tell Sky, Grey, or Tempest, and telling Lord Grantham was out of the question, but I had to tell someone. Which is why I stayed after combat class and asked my teacher if I could talk to her.
"Why?" she asked, just like everybody else.
"I need help."
YOU ARE READING
What Is Your Name?
Roman pour Adolescents"The one thing Sky has never told me, though it's the one thing I've always wanted to know, is my mother's name." Sky and Lillian, ages 17 and 13, are all the other's got. They are held by the bond of Lillian's mother, Sky's older sister, the first...
