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The cameras zoomed in on the debate stage where UK stood at the podium, straightening his notes with a refined air. “Good evening, and welcome to the 2024 Democratic Debate. I'm the United Kingdom, your official moderator for tonight.”
He gave a small smile to the camera. “Tonight’s debate will be broadcast live on YouTube, where many of the questions are pulled from the comment section. France, what is our first YouTube question?”
France looked up from his phone, scrolling through the comments. “Uh... ‘first comment.’”
UK frowned. “No, I mean, what is the first question?”
“That is the first comment.” France shrugged.
“Alright,” UK said slowly. “Then what’s the second YouTube question?”
France cleared his throat. “It says... ‘first comment.’”
UK took a deep breath. “France, can you just go to the first real question?”
France squinted at his screen. “‘Could you please subscribe to my YouTube channel?’”
America leaned forward with a bright grin. “I’d do anything for your vote.”
UK ran a hand over his face. “France, any actual relevant comments?”
France scrolled a bit further. “Um, ‘Duh freak I just watch, dis is fake.’”
UK sighed. “This debate is very real. It’s live.”
“No, he’s actually talking about your hair,” France clarified, a grin breaking through. “‘Dat dude's hair is too thick to be white. Dat has to be fake.’”
Canada raised his hand. “Yeah, I was wondering about that too.”
UK felt his patience slipping. “That’s… not relevant. France, who wrote that?”
France pointed toward Japan. “It’s from @JapanTokyo.”
Japan, suddenly looking up, realized she was still on stage. “Oh... sometimes South borrows my account.”
UK shook his head, collecting himself. “Miss Japan, let’s assume France has vetted these comments. Why don’t you answer the next question?”
Japan nodded, prepared. France, however, was staring at his screen, clearly distracted. “Oh my god,” he muttered. “Have you guys seen this video of a polar bear cub? Adorable.”
“France!” UK snapped.
“Right. Okay, question for Japan... ‘Do you hate Justin Bieber too?’”
Japan’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, I do. This world has suffered enough from the condescension of one spoiled teenager.”
UK cut in quickly. “You don’t have to answer that. It’s... not really relevant.”
UK sighed as he glanced over France’s shoulder. “France, can we please get an actual question?”
France shrugged. “Well, that was voted top comment.”
“Someone must have something insightful to say.”
UK glanced at the screen, then recoiled. “Oh wow, that’s..... very racist.”
France nodded grimly. “Yep.”
“Alright,” UK muttered under his breath, “this planet...”
France perked up. “Found one! It says, ‘broke the replay button.’”
“But this is live,” UK said, exasperated. “There is no replay button.”
“No, they meant it as, like, a ‘colon end parenthesis,’” France said, making little gestures.
“Just say smiley face, France.”
France scrolled again, then looked up, puzzled. “First comment?”
UK groaned. “There can’t be three ‘first comments’!”
France continued, “‘WHY ARE YOU ALL STUPPID I BE EMBERACED IF I WUSS YOU DIS IS WHY GORGE BUSH WUSS ELECTRIC TWICE SO BE QUITEN GTOFFDISPLZ.’” He squinted, frowning. “Sorry, does anyone know what the last part means?”
Japan tapped her chin thoughtfully. “New anime?”
Canada guessed, “Maybe it’s his first words?”
America squinted at the screen. “I think it’s Arabic.”
UK sighed heavily. “Clearly, YouTube isn’t working. Why don’t we move on to Twitter?”
France quickly pulled up Twitter. “Alright, our first question is from @publicvoice78: ‘Do you agree with the political reformative views of Nelson Mandela?’”
UK smiled, finally relieved. “Now that is a respectable question.”
France looked back at the screen, amused. “He’s attached a picture of Samuel L. Jackson for reference.”
UK let out a defeated sigh.
YOU ARE READING
Random Countryhumans Comedy Stuff(Rewriting)
FanfictionI do not own the cover Just like you read in the title, this book is a oneshot book No ships, I'm currently rewriting this
