𝙰𝚗𝚝𝚒 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚘

Big Bold Letters

I got the message and a small smile spread across my face. Toga smiled even bigger, and I grabbed her hand. I knew exactly where my parents lived seeing as I had lived there most of my life. I didn't care if they were home or not, I just wanted revenge. I teleported us to my parents' house and started shaking up the spray paint not even checking to see if there was a car. Toga did the same thing. I was pent up with emotions and adrenaline was running through my veins. So obviously I wasn't thinking straight. But who cared anyway? Maybe on a normal day I wouldn't have made a crazy and irrational decision like this, but I still certainly wasn't going to regret this.

I had vandalized a couple things when I was a teenager, but I couldn't say I was very good with spray paint. I started too messily write words as big as possible right on the front wall of my parents' house. First, I spelled out "FUCK OFF" in big bold letters. It was kind of a boring thing to say, not very personal but it was the first thing I thought off. I sat back for a second admiring my work. It was very messy but still eligible. The paint was still wet and dripping down the wall. I hoped that it would be impossible to get off. I looked over at Toga who was admiring the spray paint. She looked like a kid watching a movie. 

"It's your turn to write something now," I said, breaking the silence. Toga was still mesmerized but started to spatter paint on the wall. I couldn't tell what she was doing a first. There were to big circles then lines, then more lines. What? It clearly wasn't words. When I did realize what she was doing I felt a bit stupid. She was drawing something. Of course. I didn't say anything to Toga even though she clearly had no idea what she was doing. I just stood back and watched, and she tested out different colors on the wall and painted her picture. When she finally stepped back, I was shocked. It definitely looked like a kindergarten painting, but I could still tell exactly what it was. There was a woman, who I could tell was supposed to be me, standing next to another woman, who was meant to be Toga. They two of us were standing on a hill with a rainbow in the background. Kind of ironic, I thought to myself even though I knew the joke wasn't intentional. I doubted Toga even know what rainbow flags meant. In her mind everyone probably just liked who they liked and that was it. I wish that was how the real-world work. Life would be so much simpler. And surprisingly in this instance, Toga's logic is more reasonable than the rest of the worlds. Honestly, who gives a shit who likes who. It's like planting seeds and getting mad when some of them bloom a differently than others. Love is uncontrollable. It blooms where you least expect it. And it looks different every time but it's just as beautiful each time. It's not a choice or a lifestyle, it's a part of you. A part of you can't change. So, when I see some people hate other people for love I just have to laugh. 

Anway back to the painting. Toga and I were holding hands and there was a big heart drawn in between us. To the average person walking by it was just an average painting but to me it meant more. I knew it meant more to Toga two. Even if it looked like a dumb, simple painting I knew Toga hadn't just done this because she felt like it. I could tell by the look of pride in her eye as she stared up her work. She could try to disguise everything she did as an act of spontaneousness, but I knew there were reasons to the things she did. Deep down we all have reasons for what we do just some people won't admit them. 

"Your turn," Toga said a little quieter than her regular voice. I picked up a can and thought of what I should write next. Even though Toga's drawing was cute I definitely wouldn't be drawing anything. I knew exactly the words I wanted to say but I ignored them for a few minutes. I just stared down at the can as if waiting for it to tell me what to do. Eventually, I couldn't ignore the words burning in my chest. I knew what I wanted to say. I knew what I had to say. I wrote "I am not your daughter" as large as possible. I made so everyone driving by would see. My hand was shaking even though I couldn't reasonably understand why. That was all I had wanted to say and now I felt accomplished. I could write as many slurs as I wanted to on my parents' house, but it was really pointless. They were all empty words without meaning. However, this did mean something to me. They didn't get to be the to disown me when I kicked them out of my life so many years ago. My anger had pretty much faded now, and I just dropped my spray can and started walking. I couldn't stand to stare at that house any longer.

"Wait where are you going? I wasn't done!" Toga called from behind me. She could write and draw as much as she wanted too but I was done. I said what I wanted to and now I never wanted to have anything to do with my parents ever again. Toga looked at me and at the spray cans. Eventually she decided she would come with me, but she scooped up a few spray cans to bring with her. I really didn't know where I was going but it was somewhere. Somewhere far away from everything. Heroes, villains and every other shitty person in between. Toga could come with me I decided. No one else, just her. I walked and walked for miles. Toga was rambling about spray paint and heroes, but I didn't say anything. Eventually she picked up that I wasn't really responding and stopped talking. So, we walked in silence for hours. My eyes were glued to the road, but Toga's were focused on me. Her face was contorted with confusion and pity. It was a strange expression to see on her face which was normally filled with happiness. I choose to ignore it and just keep walking.