fluffball returns
Xiangling: OI OI
Hu Tao: WE HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCMENT
Hu Tao: L0Ld13
[Everyone is online]
Xiao: Is there great peril?
Hu Tao: NONO
CHILDE: is scaradouche dead?
Scaramouche: NO
Scaramouche: YOU MUCKING FLEABAG OF A DIP HIT MOTORCYCLING DUMB AS DITCH
Xiangling: ANYWAYS
Xiangling: free samplings of barbaras amazing spicy stew are available!
Paimon: where???? 0w0
Xiangling: at wanmin! :D
Kaeya: so i have to walk 500 miles to liyue for this godly soup??
Hu Tao: if u die on the way, wangshengs got ya covered :)
Zhongli: hu tao, plese be nic
Hu Tao: OMG ZHONGLI UD ID IT
Zhongli: thank yuvery much
Barbara: xiangling thanks for featuring my specialty stew in your restaurant's menu :D
Xiangling: no problem!
Diona: GIVE ME THAT STEW
Currently... Diona's POV
Today was the day!
The infamous spicy stew that gave Bennett stomachaches would finally ruin the wine industry!
Diona skipped to Liyue with Klee along her side. Klee was her partner in crime, after all.
***
After arriving at Liyue Harbor, Klee blew up somebody's old grandmother's toy stand while Diona perused the Wanmin menu for Barbara's spicy stew.
"Boiled Oceanid hearts... frozen noodles... carrot-less crystal shrimp... SUBZERO JADE PARCELS??... Mora meat... Dendro slime salad... who eats these??" Diona mused. Then, she spotted it!
"BARBARA'S SPICY STEW! NOW WITH MORE JUEYAN CHILIS INFUSED WITH PYRO REGISVINE CORES AND PYRO WHOPPERFLOWER NECTAR!"
Oh. Wow.
Today was Diona's lucky day!
A girl with a weird hat and red eyes popped up next to Diona. "Want a coupon for Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?" she chirped.
Diona nearly stabbed the girl to death with her arrows, but restrained herself. Excellent self control, Diona!
***
Diona ordered 30 servings of spicy stew. Klee got candy. Then, they headed back to Mondstadt...
The Cat's Tail
Marjorie: Diona, where were you?
[Diona is online]
Diona: getting ingredients
Marjorie: Oh, good! A new wave of customers have just arrived, and they're getting impatient.
Diona: good...
fluffball returns
Venti: GUYS WHO WATNS TO GOT O THE CAFS TAIL
Kaeya: ME
Rosaria: ...me
Paimon: i wanna try!
Venti: YAYAYAYAYA
Diona: come get ur free cocktail
Venti: YAY
Kaeya: YAYA
Rosaria: good
Venti: ...
Venti: AEIUGHAEOIGHAEOGHAEGHPA9EUG
Kaeya: OH MY MUCKING ARCHNNS THIS S TERIBLE
Rosaria: ...
Venti: WHY IS THIS COCKTIAL SO SPIVY
Kaeya: OSEGIHSEOHGSEPGHSE I ATSE BURNIGN METLA/?
Rosaria: this tastes like poison
Rosaria: yum i lik
[Rosaria is offline]
Venti: lik
Kaeya: WHAT THE MUCK ROSARAI JUST FAINTED
Kaeya: HER SKIN IS TURNIGN RED AS A LOBSTDR?
Venti: KAEYA AM I BLUSHING
Kaeya: EETAOISTH YES
Kaeya: YRUR CHEEKS ARE RED AS SUNSETTIAS
Venti: I EEND WATER
Barbara: ?
Noelle: are you injured? I can help you right away, whatever you need!
Kaeya: ur a saintnoelle
Venti: wATER
Diona: ha! you have fallen into my trap!
Diona: not only have you tasted the worst cocktail in the world, but you also broke your oath to never drink alcohol!
Diona: your pinky promise
Kaeya: SPARE US
[CHILDE is online]
CHILDE: never :)
Venti: lol i dont care about any pkiny promises im BARBARTPS
Venti: EWITHE9HT WATERE I NED WARTE
Noelle: i'm here!
Kaeya: NOEELEL THE GOD
[Kaeya, Venti, and Noelle are offline]
Klee: do i keep my candy
[Jean is online]
Jean: Why has Kaeya come running to me with reports of a poisoned cocktail from the Cat's Tail? Diona? KLEE WHERE WERE YOU??
Hu Tao: customers
Klee: um
Klee: i was um
Jean: Yes?
Klee: i was making pie!
Jean: With who?
Klee: UM
Klee: GRUMPY MAN!
[Diluc is online]
Diluc: ...
Jean: Klee.
Klee: UM
Klee: DADADA
[Klee is offline]
Jean: KLEE!
[Jean is offline]
Kaeya: diluc
Kaeya: i need wine
Kaeya: REAL wine
Venti: please 🥺🥺🥺
Kaeya: we need to wash down the horror that was dionas latest cocktail
Venti: actually i feel much better already
Kaeya: HOW
Venti: stolen alcohol tastes great
[Diluc is offline]
Diona: IM TRACKING U U BOOZEHOUDSN
Diona: SOMDEDAY
Diona: WINE WILL JUST DISA[PPER
Kaeya: yea yea
Venti: wine is eternal
[Sucrose is online]
Sucrose: your health is not
YOU ARE READING
genshin chatfic
Hayran KurguJean of the Knights of Favonius creates a group chat for the other knights, "for better communication", she says. Well... perhaps Jean didn't think it would be THAT chaotic... and maybe she quite didn't think the system would be so easy to hack... ...
