Hello readers. Before I start going off about what is going on in my life right now I'm proud to announce that I've been writing in this for the past 5 years. I started when I just became a teenager at 13 and at this moment I'm an 18 year old adult. So that's all I wanted to say. Now let's go off into my rant.
So right now I am an 18 year old in college. This is like my second week being here and honestly I am tired of it. I don't know if it's my personality, I just can't make any friends. (Im very quiet and not very social unless a person gets to know me) When I go places, I often go with my roommate and her friends, and honestly, it's quite uncomfortable. I want to be friends but I just feel like I make them uncomfortable which makes me uncomfortable. Im tired of this dorm, I'm tired of literally everything. I will never self diagnose myself with any mental disorder, but I just feel very sad (maybe others will feel the same if they were in my situation). "Just go out of your dorm" "Just talk to people" Babes I've been to every social event that I am able to, and I couldn't make any, I'd get ignored and stuff. Sometimes I would just sit in my room and cry, lol in fact I'm crying right now. College is about getting your degree and socializing, but how can I if it feels like people ignore my presence when I try talking to them. I keep coming to the conclusion that I should just focus on just the work and make good grades, but I want friends. I don't want to be alone, but it keeps looking like I might have to live life alone.
I keep crying because being alone is my biggest fear, and without anyone I know being around me, it feels like I'm living my fear.
Anyways I'm happy that I've kept this rants book going for so long I guess.
