Back To Seattle

Chapter 15

"This is where you've been hiding then?" His eyes pinned her to the middle of the room.

He sat on the edge of the desk as though it were his own and she were his subordinate, in for a warning, or about to be sacked.

"I... Richard offered me a fellowship, and I needed change," she went to shrug but thought better of it, instead pressing her lips together in a tight line.

"A change? From what exactly?" He scoffed in disbelief, and she fought the urge to roll her eyes at him.

She had to remember her place. She had to remember not to rile him up.

"Jordan, you cheated on me," her eyes started to well slightly with tears and she took a deep breath, fidgeting with the watch on her wrist, "You hurt me, physically, over and over. Do you really think we were working?"

"Meredith, I'm your husband," he scoffed again, shaking his head, "It's been what... eleven weeks since you walked out on me? Tried to make me believe you were here for your bitch of a mother, and then sent me divorce papers?"

"Jordan I can't keep going on like this, I can't be your personal punching bag every time you have a bad day," she sniffed slightly, releasing a breath as she staved off tears.

"We are not getting a divorce, it's not happening," he shook his head again, moving towards her, "I love you, Meredith, I've always loved you. I've always been here for you. I've always made sure you had everything you wanted."

His hand lifted, and she tried not to flinch as his fingers stroked over her cheek. Her eyes closed, her fists clenching and her nails digging into her palms as he traced her jaw, down her neck and to her collarbone. Her head dropped as his hand rested on her shoulder, his breathing heavy.

"I miss you, baby," he murmured, his lips touching her forehead.

She suddenly flashed back to their wedding, before any of this, before the hurt and the nasty words, the emergency room visits. When her mother didn't turn up, and he held her close, promised everything would be okay, that all they needed was each other.

Part of her wanted that Jordan back, the one that had kept her safe, that cared for her. But did that person even exist? Was it all a ruse for the person he really was?

"Come home, Meredith," he murmured still, against her hair now as he held her against him, "Let me take care of you, take some time off work and relax, we can really try for a baby this time. We'll make sure you have less stress, and we'll have a real shot at starting that family we always dreamed of."

"I'm happy here," she mumbled, her arms lightly wrapped around him as she found herself unintentionally melting against him, into his hold, "I want to continue my fellowship, this opportunity, to work under Derek Shepherd."

Her voice cut off as she felt him tense slightly, and she realised she shouldn't have said anything. Shouldn't have mentioned any of it. She wasn't sure what made him tense up so badly, but she knew it wasn't good.

"Derek Shepherd?" He practically spat out the name, taking a step back from her and leaving her feeling strangely bereft.

"You know him?" She could hear the timidness in her own voice, fighting the urge to drop her hand to her stomach in comfort.

"Neurosurgery?" He ignored her question, "You were supposed to be specialising in General. That was the agreement! You use Grey professionally and use your mother's name in General! For fucks sake, Meredith."

"You know I wanted to go into Neurosurgery, from the start," she said quietly, clutching her hands together as she felt them shake slightly.

"You could've at least done better than Derek Shepherd," he laughed humourlessly.