Back To Seattle

Chapter 20

He'd been awake for hours now. Meredith's head lay on his chest as she slept, and she seemed so comfortable, and at peace, he didn't want to move her. Even if the position he was in wasn't helping his insomniac mind.

His fingers played with her hair, his other hand holding hers. He needed to figure out what their next move would even be. They couldn't just hide out here until Jordan got bored and went back to Boston. He had a feeling that was unlikely to happen.

They had patients, and they only just about had enough surgeons in neuro as it was. He had to battle with his two sides, the one that was head of the department, and the other that just wanted to keep Meredith as safe as he possibly could.

He didn't know Jordan. He didn't know how he would act, or react, and he didn't want to be taken by surprise. As much as he wanted Meredith to not have to deal with any of this, she knew Jordan's behaviours. She knew what to expect. Really, they needed to plan this together.

The time was approaching sunrise, one of his favourite times of day. New day, new beginnings. The way the sunlight filled the sky, illuminating the forest around him. He loved living out here, and despite telling Meredith he had no idea what to do with the land, he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

He wanted to build a house here. He'd known since the moment she'd told him she was pregnant. He wanted to build them a house, a safe place, a space of their own. He wanted her input, he wanted her in his life, forever.

To know that she felt the same way, that she wanted him too, it was like he was living in a dream. He, too, wished that things were simpler. Wished she weren't married, and that they could be together without living in fear of this man that had decided he owned Meredith.

It wasn't Meredith's fault, and it didn't change how he felt about her. She was strong, and he knew deep inside she was fearless, and confident. For lack of a better phrase, it had been beaten down, hidden away by this man who had manipulated her, kicked her down until she was a shell of who she was.

But she was strong. She had escaped him. She'd tried to run and start a new life. He couldn't even imagine the amount of bravery it must take, in that situation, to leave. He wanted to give her the space to allow herself to flourish again, to get back her independence and her joy in life.

Hearing what she had to say last night, about how the baby was the only thing she had left to live for, made him want to hunt down Jordan and kill him. His hold tightened on her slightly. He couldn't imagine his life without her now. Her smile, the way she'd roll her eyes at him. The pure concentration on her face when she worked, the talent that was so obvious to everyone in the hospital.

He lowered his head to press a kiss against the top of her head. She shifted slightly, only to shuffle closer against him in her sleep, seeking out his warmth. He was so in love with her.

That's all he could think.

He was head over heels in love with Meredith, and he would do anything for her.

His head turned to the window as the sun began to rise, the orange light creating a blanket over the two of them. A soft noise escaped Meredith and he glanced down; her eyes scrunched up.

"Shh, sleep," he whispered, rubbing her upper back gently.

"Awake," she murmured. "Work."

"No work today," he chuckled, brushing his hand over her cheek as she turned to look up at him.

"Oh, right, yeah."

She stayed quiet a moment, a soft sigh being the only sound around them. He watched as her gaze shifted to the window, unable to stop from smiling as the sunrise lit up her features. She still looked tired, but it didn't change how he viewed her.

"I have patients to get back to, you have a department to run, we can't just hideout here forever," she murmured, her eyes still fixed on the horizon. "As much as I'd love to."

"I've been trying to think, what we can do. My main priority is keeping you safe," he ran his fingers through her hair, knowing she must be more worried about the patients rather than her own safety, now that Jordan knew where she worked. "I'll call Mark, make sure Jordan isn't hanging around the hospital still and we'll go in and speak to Richard."

"Can we go and watch the sunrise, outside?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, we'll wrap up warm and go sit out on the edge?" he suggested. "I'll make us a hot drink; I have some hot chocolate powder stashed away in the cupboard."

"Oh yeah, no coffee," she groaned slightly, turning into him.

He laughed softly, wrapping his arms around her tighter. He kissed the top of her head. "Come on, I can lend you something warmer to put on."

****

They stood, Meredith encased in Derek's arms, looking out over the cliff. Taking in the view in front of them. The forest at the foot of the cliff, the various custom-built houses that had taken advantage of the serenity of the area. The same atmosphere that had grasped at Derek the first time he had found his forty acres of peace.

His nose buried against her hair, pressing a kiss against the side of her neck. "I want to build a house."

"A house?" She turned to him; eyebrow raised. "Just a house?"

"A family house, with multiple bedrooms, in any design and shape that we like," he murmured, swaying her side to side gently. "A glass wall, so that we wake up to this view every morning if we want to."

"We?" She whispered softly, an edge of panic to her voice.

"If you want it to be."

"You thought of all that with me?" She turned in his arms looking up at him. "That's what you see for us?"

"It's what I hope for us," he smiled gently, brushing her hair out of her face, still not understanding why the action made her tense slightly, quickly pulling his hand back. "I bought this land not knowing what to do with it. But as soon as you told me you were pregnant, that I was going to be a dad, I knew exactly what I had bought this land for, at least subconsciously."

"It sounds... like a dream, honestly," she laughed a little, biting her lip.

He cupped her cheek, bringing her face up to look at him. "I'm not about to start building a house right now. We can wait, or if it's too much we don't have to do it at all."

"I think... It's too early to even consider living together, never mind building a house together. And even then, we should probably consider living together, with the baby, but we have time, and we don't know what's going to happen. And he still needs to sign the damn divorce papers..." Her voice went off into a mumbling ramble.

He frowned slightly, lowering his lips to hers. "Shh."

Derek could feel her smile against his kiss, and her hand came up to curve around the back of his neck. They kissed for a moment longer, and Derek was reluctant to pull away, although he knew he probably should. There was still so much to figure out, as much as he was ready to just throw all his eggs in one basket. He was so sure of Meredith, and he had never been this sure about anyone in his life.

He knew she had a lot to deal with before she was able to be in the same place that he was in, and he was willing to wait for her, to be patient. He didn't expect she'd even let him hold her at this point, never mind kissing her at one of his favourite spots in the world.

He pulled back, nudging his nose to hers a second with a whisper. "We'll be okay, don't worry."

"Thank you," she smiled. "For saying that even if it might not be true."

"One day, you won't be so pessimistic," he chuckled, pulling her closer, her head moving to his shoulder. "A few more minutes and then I'll give Mark a call."

"Thank you, for all of this," she whispered. "No one has ever..."

"I know. But now, you've got me," he kissed the top of her head. "And I'm not going anywhere."