Rip My Heart Out

Chapter Sixteen

A/N This chapter is a little comic relief. I also love this new friendship that Ashton has developed with Cal and Calum's oblivion to what girls actually like is kind of sad. Poor boy. Also, this now has 10k reads, thank you all soooo much! You guys are the best ❤️

"So... You're not gay?" Calum questions, licking an ice cream cone.

We sit on the curb and watch people walk around town, running errands, buying things.

"Don't say it so loud." I warn. "And no, I'm not. I was confused. He confused me. But I know now that I'm not and I can live how God wants me to."

Calum shakes his head and swallows a mouthful of vanilla ice cream. "That doesn't make sense, you can't be gay one day and then not the next."

I stare at my melting chocolate cone and say "I wasn't, I never was."

We watch a young girl push a newborn in a fancy stroller, she looks exhausted and the child is crying.

"You said you came though, when you listened to that tape or whatever."

My eyebrows furrow. "Came?"

"Yeah, like, you came. You had an orgasm. Do you not know what that means?" His eyebrows raise.

I shake my head and Calum laughs. "Oh my god."

"What?" Im so confused.

"You honestly don't know what an orgasm is?" He says, his laughter fading.

"Uh, it sounds like organs or organism." I shrug. He just stares at me, mouth open.

"Stop it, Calum." I say and smash my ice cream cone into the concrete.

"I'm sorry, I'm just, it's, I'm surprised." He laughs uncomfortably.

"Why? What even is it?" I say, slightly embarrassed.

"You know when you listened to that tape and your body did that thing? It was all sticky and stuff?" Calum talks to me as if I'm a child.

I nod. "Well, that's an orgasm. If you were to do that while you had your dick in a girl she'd get knocked up."

My eyes wide at his bluntness but then fall as I ask "Knocked up?"

"Pregnant!" Calum almost yells at me. I frown.

"Did your parents not have the talk with you? Did you not have friends when you were growing up that talked about all the adult stuff you aren't supposed to talk?" He turns to face me.

"No, my parents told me those were things I didn't need to be concerned with."

Calum shakes his head and sighs, "Let's go, I'm going to teach you."

I willingly follow him.

•

Calum leads me to a small, one story house. "Welcome to me casa." He says. "That was Spanish."

I laugh and notice that no ones home. "Where's your parents?" I ask and close his front door behind me.

"Vacation." He says walking down a hall. "This is my room."

I walk into the small space, there's a bed against the wall and a dresser but that's it.

"Sit."

I sit on his bed while he digs around in a drawer for something.

"Okay. Let's start with the basics. You have kissing, pretty normal. Then comes touching. Now, if you're 'straight'," he stops rummaging and uses air quotes around that word, "then you can touch her boobs."

He pulls a magazine out from the drawer and then hands it to me. He lays out on the floor in front of me.

I open the magazine while he continues to speak, "Girls love it when you touch their boobs. Drives them crazy."

Inside are pictures of women, all blonde and skinny and naked. As soon as I see the first girl I shut the magazine as quick as possible. "These pictures are sins."

"I'm not even going to ask if you've seen a naked girl because I know the answer to that. Just look at it." He waves his hand, staring at the ceiling.

"Next, you have fingering. That's self explanatory, just stick your fingers in her."

I slowly and uncomfortably look at the pages, apologizing with every body I see.

"After that comes sex. Oral is before regular, that involves mouths. If she puts her mouth on yours it's called a blowjob. Then normal, boring sex that old people do." He explains.

I nod and he sits up, quickly removing the magazine from my lap.

"Knew it." He laughs and lays back on his back.

"What?" I bite my lip.

"You're not even hard. Any straight guy who just looked at that many nude girls would be."