I still want it all with you

Over this

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"It's decided," I told Ana when I called her on Saturday afternoon.

"What did you decide?" she asked

"About the donor, well actually I decided on 5 donors. I return the rest of the files today because I was feeling overwhelmed with all those folders" I said falling down on the sofa and arranging a cushion under my head.

"5 donors?" she said confused "5 babies?"

"No, dumb-dumb! Of those 5 files I have to choose one"

"Do you want me to help you? But you have to come to me because I am no longer allowed to drive" she said between clenched teeth, Ana was very uncomfortable not being able to drive and lead her independent life. I heard Alex's laugh in the background.

"From what I hear you have an excellent driver there" it was Ana's turn to laugh.

"Emma says that I should take advantage of your driving skills" Again I heard Alex laugh, I put my hand to my cheeks to force myself to stop smiling. "She says that she is available, that she can take me whenever I want... Do you want me to go now?" she asked me quietly.

"No, don't worry Annie, tomorrow if I have the time, I'll stop by and review them with you. There's not so much rush anyway" She let out a sigh of relief, I know it made her uncomfortable to move around.

"Em, just don't rush it okay? Until you have all your options on the table" she said the last thing in a whisper, I felt confused.

"What are you talking about? What options?" I said raising my hand, even though she couldn't see me.

"Uhm is... never mind, just don't rush there is still time. I gotta go now, I have to pee" she told me as I hurried my goodbye regardless of the fact that I was the one who called.

That night, we went out with Nate and some of his friends to a nightclub in South Beach, first I had refused, I wanted to stay home enjoying a bottle of wine, but Nate had insisted and in the end I agreed, I liked his friends and they were a really fun group to hang out with, we danced all night and drank, drank a lot, so much so that at the end of the night we had a hard time standing up and stop laughing.

"We should have taken...taken a taxi" I whispered into Nate's ear with my hands on his neck to steady myself.

"I can drive" he slurred, I pulled away from him to look at him, he was more disheveled than usual, his eyes were tired, and his breath smelled of vodka.

"Ohh noo, no, no, no, that's very bad" I said looking in my purse for my phone while he grabbed my waist "I'm going to call an ... uber, or is it buber" I giggled, while he nodded and kissed my neck, his hands tightened on me, the world was spinning, the alcohol in my system, plus his wet kisses near my ear and on my neck, were too much and it was difficult for me to concentrate on what I was doing. I turned my head to kiss him, but apparently, I accidentally dialed a number.

"Emma ... Emma!" I broke away from him when I heard someone on the other end of the line, how the hell?

"Hellooo" I said with a frown.

"Are you okay? ... it's almost 4 o'clock ... Are you drunk?" I separated the phone from my ear to look at the screen, I had dialed the first contact on my list, my eyes widened, and I hit my head with the other hand, Nate was laughing next to me when he saw my face. "Emma! Are you okay? Where are you?" The logical thing would have been to apologize for having called her inadvertently, then to apologize again for waking her, it was 3:56 am, that would have been the logical thing, but all the alcohol in my body did not let me do the logical thing but the stupid thing and I hung up on her.