I still want it all with you

I'm staying

*****

I want to dedicate this chapter to @PatrysLeGrange, @sillyspooner, @novelobsessed3, @shonstew and @Okech22. Thank you for your support, votes and comments that crack me up.

Also, to everyone else that reads, votes and especially those who take the time to leave a comment. I love you all, you inspire me to keep on writing.

*****

Her lips, oh my God, her lips were the best flavor in the world, I knew I shouldn't kiss her, I knew that this relapse could be fatal, but I was only human and I couldn't contain myself, after the initial shock, I kissed her eagerly, with all the accumulated needs and desires, her hands drew me closer to her by my waist, my hands were on her neck preventing her from evaporating like in my old dreams. I kissed her for just a few seconds, the best few seconds in a while. I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket and that was enough for my brain to restart from the shock. Her eyes were still closed, and she was gasping for breath when I parted our lips, her presence was more intoxicating than all the alcohol I had ever consumed in my entire life, I lowered my arms from her neck caressing her hair as I dropped my hands and gently pushed her away from me.

"Marry me..." she whispered, almost so low that I might have imagine it, her eyes were still closed, before she drew me to her, kissing me again, had she really said that? No, I must have misheard, I was so shocked by what she had told me that this time it was easier to put my hands on her shoulders and push her away again.

"My ... Uber..." I said awkwardly, pointing to the car that was waiting with the parking lights on, I slid my hand away and got into the car. After giving my address I slid into my seat with my hands on my head, how could I have been so careless? How could I erase with my foot everything I had done with my hands? I shook my head and brought my fingers to my lips, something fluttered in my stomach as I remembered her lips on mine, her hands tightening on my waist, her body pressed against mine, the reunion of our tongues, the heat of her body so close to mine. I groaned in frustration as the Uber guy looked at me in the rearview mirror to check if I was okay. And then my mind, playing tricks on me, imagining those words leaving her lips.

When I opened my eyes on Saturday, my moral hungover was bigger than my physical one, I felt like I had failed myself, I grabbed my phone and had a missed call from Ana and some text messages. I opened them to check them, there were some from Danna, Ana and two from Alex.

3:00 ZAlex: "I'm so sorry" There was the regret for yesterday's stupidity, she felt it too.

9:06 ZAlex: "Good morning, Emma, I just want to apologize for last night, can we talk? Can I come by?" The instant I saw her name on the screen of my phone, my stomach contracted remembering her kisses yesterday, her lips and her last words echoing in my brain. What did she mean that I was the only one who had gotten over this? It was impossible that she was still feeling the same after 2 years. Alex liked the chase, the game, the flirtation, but in the end, she was going to leave again, and I wasn't going to be her toy for a few weeks, no way. I rolled my eyes and threw the phone against the pillow. I stretched out, took a shower, and began to prioritize my day. I was sitting on the edge of the pool, with my feet in the water, sunbathing while reading the newspaper on my tablet and drinking my coffee when I felt my phone vibrate on the grass.

11:12 AM ZAlex: "Emma, ​​please let me apologize in person. I know you are awake because you were active in the group chat" then some emojis of little hands begging. I put the phone down on the grass and continued with my newspaper while taking a bite of my bagel.

11:14 ZAlex: "You can't ignore me forever, I just need 5 minutes, 4 if you don't feel generous" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

11:15 Me: "I'm not at home and relax, I'm not mad, actually, I don't know what you're talking about, nothing happened as far as I'm concerned" I watched her write, then erase and then write again, while I bit my nails in anticipation.