I still want it all with you

That someone

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I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was very emotional to write, and I'm proud of it.  Let me know what you think. 

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That night, I stayed up very late, until I was happy with everything I had prepared for this morning's meeting. The meeting was to discuss a new revenue strategy and rate policies for which the presence of all area directors and assistant managers was required, it was going to be a long and tedious meeting, but it was going to keep me busy all day, with my mind free of Alex and how confused this all felt. Tomorrow, it was also the appointment with the clinic for the first exams for the insemination and what I least needed at the moment is the hurricane with tsunami that Alex felt like to stir all my plans and projects, not again.

The meeting ended a little after 4 o'clock and I no longer had a head for anything else, I left the office and went directly to Ana's house as I had promised the day before. Andrew opened the door for me with a huge smile, giving me a hug and quickly heading to the kitchen.

"Hello" I said when I entered, Ana was sitting at the kitchen island with a cup of tea in her hands, she looked just as tired and happy as Andrew did, I gave her a big hug.

"Where is my little nugget?" I asked looking around, Ana grabbed my chin with her right hand and turned my face to look out the kitchen window.

"Aunty Alex is giving him a sunbath, they look so cute and adorable, right?" I actually felt my heart melt a little bit, Alex was walking with little Kye on the patio, she was talking to him and moving him gently in her arms. This could have been our life, I would have giving everything to see her walk our baby in the backyard of our house, but things rarely go as planned, especially for me.

"I have the appointment with the doctor tomorrow, they will give me the order for all the tests that I need to get done to start the process" I said forcing myself to stop looking at the patio and focusing on my friend. She frowned at me and tilted her head slightly, then looked around checking that we were alone in the kitchen. "What?"

"Are you going to have it by yourself?" She said tilting her head, I snorted and sat on a stool in front of her.

"Did your neurons come out along with the baby or what?" I asked staring at her with my arms crossed "Obviously I'm going to have it by myself, that has always been the plan"

"No, you moron!" she said turning her mouth "I thought that ... you know" she said pointing with her head towards the patio "Your plans changed now that Alex is here and after what happened on Friday" I rolled my eyes.

"Why should they change? Just because she's here right now?" I said shaking my head "What's going to happen when an even better job comes along? No, I'm not going to put myself through that again, or even worse my baby, I'm alone now and- "

"Emma-" she interrupted me

"No, let me finish. You know very well that this is what I wanted with her, but you see what happened, something better came by and just left me- "

"Emma!" She said looking wide-eyed, then I heard someone behind me clear their throat and I understood the urgency in Ana's voice. Fuck my life! At that moment I wished the earth would swallow me whole and spit me out in the Antarctic. Ana looked at me shaking her head and I just raised my hand to my eyebrows.

"Ana, I think the baby needs a diaper change. I'm going to change-" she said after clearing her throat for the third time.

"No no no. Give him to me, I'll change him, he needs to eat soon anyway" said Ana getting up from the stool and walking to grab her baby, out of the corner of my eye I saw her appear again and before leaving she stopped, gave me a look and then looked behind me "You know? You're too old for this, talk like grown-ups, get your heads out of your butts and clear your s-h-i-t out before it's too late" she said emphasizing with her head before disappearing from the kitchen. I dropped my head in the palm of my hand and shook my head, Ana had made an uncomfortable situation, a terribly unbearable one... as always. Then I felt Alex walk past me toward the living room.