N u m i n o u s .

Sudden prayers

I woke up in a small, dark room. It hurt to breathe. Every time I try to breathe through my nose, the stench of blood would hit me a bit too hard. The taste in my mouth reminded me of drinking milk before you go to sleep without brushing your teeth, and the rotten taste the next day.

I wiggle around a little, making sure I'm okay. I, couldn't feel my right arm. I sit up, feeling my skin stick and pull away from something at the same time. Everything aches. I fail slighty as I try to stand up, but I do, and lights suddenly snap on.

Click, click, click.

My eyes adjust, and I realize I can only see from one. I notice there's mirrors on one side of the wall while the rest of the room is empty, and white.

I freak out. I can see bone and teeth and my eye is gone. There's a shift in my balance and I notice its because I have no arm. From shoulder, to the right side of my rib cage, I'm missing flesh. I watch my lungs work along with my panting. My hair, its matted and the light makes it seem red, caked in my blood.

It has to be mine, right?

From the waist down, I'm fine. I feel stabs of nerve sensitivity go up my spine, and in horror I

Watch

As my body puts itself back together. I look to my right as I heat something sound like rubber bands snapping. A puddle of rotten flesh and black, crusted blood roll over to me, and as if by magic, string itself back onto my body.

Like fixing a hole in your favourite sweater, all the blood and rotten flesh thin out into strands that roll over my body where it might belong, and mend me back together. I watch the way watery lumps roll into my eye socket and flinch as I feel the sting and reconnection of an eye being formed in my skull.

I put my hand over it and scream, raspy, broken, but I scream. Something crawls in my mouth and it tastes like copper, so I look at the mirror, and see my throat contract and feel something like a piece of flesh move into an empty part of myself.

I can hear myself gasp again and stare at the way my skin looks like a quilt and the bone on my face disappears and I press my lips together again. Nothing hurt besides my arm. I try to watch directly, the shards of bone creak back into place, and I see a skeletal arm that looks like a beaten up Halloween prop.

Patches and strands of thick muscle lay down the canvas for ribbons of veins that twist around and press into one another and makes me feel a bit violated, so I sit down. I hold my arm out, letting the layers of skin continue to fix itself before I realize I'm naked, and so I crawl over to the corner of the room, and hide myself.

I stay like this for a while. My arm is fine now. But my mind is not. Its like the longer I breathe the longer I hear thoughts that are not mine and whispers of something that isn't there. I can't feel my hands on my skin and I'm paler then the walls.

Ah, there it is again. How many hours has it been?

You died.

I'm not sure what happened.

You're the first to be so calm.

There were more? Wait, damn-what even happened?

You won't be accepted anymore. Humans will hate you. They won't understand.

You say as if I'm not human anymore.

A pause. A few laughs.

You most likely never were. I mean, do you feel that?

Feel wh-

I feel my heart speed up, my vision blurs, and I somehow want to growl. I want to eat. No, I want to hunt. To take something's life then defile its body by eating it. To show it how much stronger I am. Yet, at the same time, I begin to feel restless.

Why, this. All of this. You are this. This is everything you've ever felt that you couldn't help in your entire life span, amplified til this moment. Do you feel it? All this greed in such a small body. I like you. Some feel hopeless, defeated, hell-even lust. But you...

I want to leave. To force my way out of here, and rip the sky down to be lower then grass. Nothing can be above me. Not this voice not my friends and not myself. This body...

Its too small. It can't contain me. This land isn't enough. I.. Can't stop gasping. My lungs feel weak, and my hands are shaking. My blood feels like its being rejected by every cell in my body, and I fall over.

This.....this can't...

You want so much you'd rip your own heart out and eat it. You'd bargain and give anything you could and can just to have someone brought to their knees by you.

Stop....I- I can't understand- I've never wanted anything but to be treated fair-

You've felt it,

Please-

Everyday...

STOP

SINCE YOU WERE OLD  ENOUGH  TO SPEAK.

I scream as I sit up, gritting my teeth, and with all my physical capability, smash my head onto the wall. I hear a crack, and I see something black covering my face. I realize, tiredly, its coming from my mouth.

Now now, don't be so hasty. You're lucky I could tell exactlywhat kind of host you are. You'll break before a week.

Hah. I pity you.

I grap at the pool of black on my lap, and wipe my chin. I want to sleep. Its cold, and it feels like liquid, but as I start to move my hands away from each other, it stretches. It feels like gum you take out of your mouth and it sticks to your fingers.

Then let's stay here, for as long as it takes.