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Y/N knocked on her captain's door softly, waiting for a response that never came. she didn't know weather or not she should face him at the moment, or wait it out but she figured he'd need someone... right?
slowly cracking open the door that lead into a dark room- her (eye color) eyes landed on her short captain first. he sat at his desk, elbows on the table while he clawed his scalp. his eyes were wide in trauma and he seemed to be in his own little world of horror.
he noticed her walk in and close the door behind her; his grey eyes falling back down to the desk in front of him while he ignored the small girl that stood in front of him.
"are you okay, captain? are you.. h-hurt?" she asked, trying to remember the meaning to the many words she's raked up in just a couple of months.
he let out a bitter chuckle; his fingers gripping his hair tighter. he lost his whole team, of course he's fucking hurt. the kids he trained unto who they were are gone now - and he, himself, has to tell their families.
"what do you think?" he tsk'ed, not even looking at the clueless girl. she tilted her head to the side, playing with her fingers behind her back before she spoke again.
"i don't understand-"
"you do!" he yelled, standing up and slamming his hands on his desk. the papers that accompanied the hardwood flew everywhere - making an ugly mess he'd have to clean up later.
"i do?" she asked, innocently.
"yes! how do you not understand your own fucking feelings? they're yours!" he scoffed again.
y/n had never seen the short man so angry - not even when eren would mess stuff up. she took a step back, her (eye color) eyes filling with fear while she stared at him in disbelief.
"what? are you scared of me? are you sad? mad?" he asked, his hands balling up into fists while crumpling the papers underneath them. his jaw ticked repeatedly, while she started to shake slightly- taking a step backwards every other second.
was she scared?
"i don't-"
"you do! cry. yell at me! express it." he scoffed. her eyes watered while she looked at the man she so happily adored turn into an angry mess in front of her eyes.
"i don't-"
"yell at me!" he yelled again, causing her to shake her head in misunderstanding.
"i don't get it." she repeated, tears falling down her face while she continued to mutter the same sentence.
"you do y/n, yell at me!" he huffed again ; his face turning red from the irritation that built up.
"i don't- i don't get it!" she yelled, her breath sporadic while she cried. "i don't get it, levi!"
he stopped. his entire figure frozen in place - forcing himself to watch his student break down and cry in front of him. because of him. his yelling.
he sighed to himself, looking at the papers that were messy and crumbled before walking over to her.
he pulled her into his chest, embracing her with a hug that she didn't quite understand. they stood like that in silence for minutes that felt like long, excruciating hours.
"is it.. my fault?" she asked. she didn't follow instructions. she was impulsive like he knew she would. but, it saddened levi to hear her ask that.
"of course not." he sighed, biting his lip to think of ways to explain it to her. he knew he wasn't the most patient, but she was his responsibility now. "you're just a little reckless, i was like that too once."
"reckless?" she asked, looking up at levi who sighed and gave her a faint, soft, smile. he wiped her tears before turning her around and pushing her out the door.
"have a nice night, y/n." he softly sighed, closing and locking the door before she could say anything.
he walked over to a cabinet he never really found a use for, before grabbing the liquor that sat idly in it and sitting on his couch.
y/n sat in the mess hall, away from all the other scouts like always. she didn't even want to sit with the three friends she had made.
sasha frowned, watching her new friend eat her cold soup by herself. she thought y/n was making progress, understanding human emotion but she was wrong.
"do you think captain said something?" jean asked, biting his lip anxiously while he played with his soup.
"probably, he's the only one with an actual connection to her." connie sighed, shrugging while he watched the girl finish her food and leave the mess hall.
y/n made it back to the castle, walking down the old, tattered up hallways before passing levi's office. she stopped short when she heard hanji and erwin trying to help him.
her curiosity got the best of her, while she opened the door to see levi vomiting in a trash can, hanji holding a cup of tea on the couch, and erwin patting his best friends back.
hanji was first to notice the small girl, giving her a smile before waving her in.
"come in! come in!" they beamed, watching her hesitantly walk into the office before saluting.
levi looked up in shame, spitting the remains out of his mouth before looking at his student. he noticed a bruise on her arm; purple, blue, black. it was hideous.
"your arm?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at it. she tilted her head about to say her infamous line before levi stopped her. "theres a bruise, on your arm." he scoffed.
"it looks bad." hanji stated, getting up to examine it. "does it hurt when i do this?" they asked, applying pressure on it.
y/n had developed a high pain tolerance. being underground, nothing hurt. she never noticed bruises and cuts she gained, never dealt or cleaned any either.
"no." she responded, blinking up at the scientist who squinted their eyes. they pressed on the bruise more yet nothing came from the girl - not a wince or a flinch. not even a small 'ow.'
they looked over at levi who looked confused as well before shaking his head.
"just.. bandage her. she's not going to be able to train anyway." he sighed, before erwin intervened.
"why not? she's perfectly healthy. she says the bruise doesn't even hurt." he exclaimed, looking at levi.
"how can she train, when i have no squad?" he scoffed, looking into erwin's blue eyes.
"there's always yaeger still here. and the other 104 scouts- pick who you like and make a new one." he exclaimed, leaving the room with hanji and the girl.
levi scoffed, looking down at the trash can in front of him before chuckling.
