Not so much in love with the badboy (ENGLISH)-✔

16. Mask

Surprised, I look at Stan, who is smiling at me on an air mattress.

"Hello Queen." he smiles.

God, that smile. It makes me forget everything. I smile back and look questioningly at Nellie. She shrugs. "His idea." she whispers. Stan seems to panic for a moment when I put my things on the other mattress, but doesn't show it.

When I take off my coat I see them signing to each other, as if Stan has something to tell me. I swallow. What should he say? Does he not want me anymore?

"Um... queen... I... I have something to tell you." he stutters nervously. I nod and sit on my mattress. Stan looks helplessly at Nell, who signals for me to sit with him. So I sit on his lap, facing his. He looks at me with relief and smiles.

"It doesn't contain anything about our relationship, so don't worry." he reassures me, as if he can read my mind. "It's about something I've had a problem with for a long time, actually especially if I don't drink or do drugs. That's the reason I do that too. But so... what I wanted to tell you...' He takes a deep breath and I can tell he's having a hard time talking about this. I want to tell him he can trust me, but know it's better if I give him space.

"For the last three years I've had something that makes me scream every night. I get horrible images in my head when I sleep and can't help it. That's why I started drinking and drugs, because it helps a bit. That was also the reason you saw that weed in my pocket the first day. But I've stopped doing that, I swear." he adds when he sees my gaze.

He looks at me thoughtfully and I process his story a bit. Then suddenly I get an idea. "But tonight? And just now on the couch?" I ask confused. I would have heard him had he been yelling, which he hadn't. He smiles.

"Yes, that was because of you. I don't know how it is either, but you help me more than you think. And not just with that." he smiles. A warm feeling overwhelms me. I make sure he doesn't have nightmares?

"Wow. So I'll help you?" I ask a little taken aback. He nods and looks away in embarrassment. "Stan, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has something they're not sure about. You have this and your stars. so what? I also have little things that I don't want other people to know." I say as a pep talk. He shrugs, then looks at me with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Would you... like to sleep with me tonight? As in... on the same mattress?" he asks uncertainly. I smile sincerely. 'Love.' I say. Now he smiles too and pulls me against his chest with my back. 'God, why am I so single!' Nell moans. All three of us burst out laughing and Stan hugs me tight. 

He is so sweet!

*********

"What shall we do?" Nell asks when everyone has changed.

Me and Stan are wearing our matching sweaters and Nell is wearing a regular onesie. I look at her with a smile. "Let's put on masks and then watch Friends!" I shout enthusiastically. She nods and walks away from behind the masks. Stan looks at me with a pleading look. "Come on, queen. Masks? I'm a boy. Can't we do anything else?" he asks with a pout.

"You can lie on your bed and wait for us to finish and go to sleep. Or you can join in without complaining." I grin. He moans, then grabs my hand anyway as I go to Nellie's bathroom. She laughs, shaking her head. "You can't leave her alone for two seconds, hm brother?" she giggles. Stan rolls his eyes,

He picks me up and puts me on the bathroom cabinet. "How does this work?" he asks when he sees me taking off the masks. "Don't worry about that. I'll do it with you." I laugh. He shrugs.