Not so much in love with the badboy (ENGLISH)-✔

42. Lost

"Goodmorning!"

I walk into my office, which is just a desk in Stans office. He looks up and sighs. And there goes my good mood...

"Uh... yeah." he mumbles. I sit down and start to calculate the financies when he clears he throat. I look up.

"Nora, you know this won't work. Why are you even here?" he asks with a troubled face. I shrug. "Because I need a job and your sister is my best friend." I answer. I look back at my work.

"No. You don't understand it. I said this won't work, by which I mean I'm firing you." he says and I laugh. He frowns.

"You can't fire me. Nell hired me, so you will just have to handle it." I smile and he sighs. Then he stands up and leaves without a word. I shrug and go on with my work.

*********

He's already gone for two hours and I have no work.

I begin to start worrying. Where did he go? I can't take it anymore and stand up. I walk to Nells office to see if she knows where he is.

"NO! You know I won't be able to handle this!" someone yells.

"Miss Hamers, please. I know doctor Graey will take care of your son." Nell says calmly. So there was an emergency...

I walk back to my office, surprised to see Stan sitting at his desk when I return. He doesn't see me, though. His hands cover his face and he looks bad.

I walk over to him. "Are you okay?" I ask and he looks up, tears in his eyes.

"I... I..." He doesn't seem okay. Maybe he's in shock? "What happened?" I ask and I kneel next to him, placing my hand on his back. His body jerks when I touch him, it reminds me of that time I did the sape and he jerked too, just before we got together.

"I lost him. Nora, I..." He looks at me, despared. Who did he loose?

"What?" I whisper softly. "I lost miss Hamers son, Nora. It... He crashed with his motorcycle and if I could, I would have saved him, but..." he sobs and I hug him. He jerks again, but holds me tightly after.

"It's okay. Shhh. It's gonna be okay." I don't know what else to say. "No, it's not okay. How am I gonna say this to her? It was her only child, Nora, and I took him from her." WHAT??

"Are you freaking serious right now?" I say, my tone harsh. His eyes widen and I let go of him, to look in his eyes. Tears start to well up again. "You truly believe you TOOK her son away from her?" I ask and he nods hesitantly.

"Why would you believe such bullshit? You did everything you could!" I shout, surprising both me and him. "I... sorry." He tries to hold in his tears, I can tell by his voice.

"Come here." I open my arms and he gratefully hugs me again. "You don't have to apologize, Stan. They should say thank you for trying to save their son. You did a great job, even though it didn't work out how you wanted it to." I tell him and I feel him nod.

He lets go of me first. His tears are dried up and he smiles a sad smile. "Thank you, Nora." he says. I give him a nod. "No problem, Stan." I smile.

"I guess I'll go tell miss Hamers the bad news then..." he says hesitantle and stands up. "Do you want me to go with you?" I ask and he looks at me surprised.

"Ur.. yes, please." His eyes are soft. I nod and walk over to him, after which we walk together to Nells office. "I don't think I'm capable doing this, Nora." he says when we're standing in front of the door.

"Yes, you can. And if you do this, I'll give you a waffke from the best wafflehouse I know." I say and he smiles. "You clearly still like waffles, don't you?" he grins. I giggle and then he opens the door.

Miss Hamers jumps up, but sits down again when she sees Stans face. "He didn't make it, did he?" she asks and Stan shakes his head. She gasps and starts to cry. "I'm so sorry, miss Hamers. I tried everything, I really did. But..."

He's cut short by her hand. She looks at him and shakes her head. Stan looks at me with a glance like 'what am I supposed to say?'. I shrug. I don't know either. Then miss Hamers starts to talk.

"Stan Graey, you don't really think I'm MAD at you, do you? I believe you when you say you tried everything, I know you did. This is Tonys fault. I always told him to wear his helmet, but he didn't listen. I'm grateful you even tried to save him." She gives him a small smile and he sighs, relieved.

"Thank you, miss Hamers." he says, then looks at me. He smiles at me. I gtin and we walk back to his office. Just before we go back in, he grips my wrist and turns me around.

"Nora, thank you for helping me. I just want to say one thing, if I may. I'm sorry for choosing Italy over you, that' the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. And I'm not asking you to take me back, because I know I've hurt you too much, I just want you to know this." he says and I gasp. This was all I ever wanted!

"It's... okay." It isn't, but I'm happy with his excusion. He frowns. "No, it isn't. I've hurt you so, so much. How can I make it up to you?" he asks, wiping a tear away from me.

"Just... don't go standing between me and Max. I really, really like him and..." He interrupts me with his handwave. "Do you love him?" he asks, and he looks scared for my answer.

I doubt. Do I love Max? Do I see him as a lover? We never did 'it', I haven't fucked for four years. I know, but I kinda just kept hoping Stan would return. Do I see Max as a friend? Did I ever stop loving Stan?

"I... I don't know..." I say a little too honest. A broad smile flashes on his face. "You did know you loved me." he smiles. I did. I do. I do still love him. It hits me like a pang. I gasp and fun away.

"Nora! Fuck, sorry!" he yells, but I keep running. I sit down on a chair in the park to think.

I still love Stan. I thought I was over him. But, when I think of it now, I'll never be over him. He's Stan! He was my first love. But what am I supposed to do with Max now? I'm marrying him in a week. How sick is this? We never said 'I love you' before, and now we're marrying each other? Maybe I should break up with him.... No. I can't break up with him. Can I?

Gosh, all those doubts. I sigh and lean back, looking at the sky. Then, I stand up and walk home. I'll get my stuff later. "I'm home!" I shout. Max was supposed to be home today...

I walk upstairs when I hear it. It. The fucking. The moaning. I gasp. He's cheating on me? I knock on the door and they are silent. Then I hear some noises and the door opens. Max gives me a small smile. "Ur... Hi, Nora. I didn't know you would be home by now." he says, and suddenly I see a woman coming up behind him. It's Anne. Anne from highschool.

"No problem. I just wanted to say I don't love you and that I'm leaving you." I fake smile. I turn around, grab my stuff and leave the house.

He cheated on me. It hurts a little bit, but not so much as it should. Is it because I love Stan? I don't know. I walk back to the hospital and knock on Nells door. "Come in." she shouts and I enter.

Stan isn't here, which reliefs me. I close the door and lean against it. Nell seems to feel there is something and nods. "Tell me about it." she orders and I tell her everything.

".... and.... I think I still... love Stan." I stutter, then look up. She gasps, her eyes full of joy. Then she giggles.

"Well, why don't you tell him?" she asks, amused. Why does she likes this? "Um, well, because I don't think he feels this way. I mean, he apologized for before for leaving for Italy, but he said..." She interrupts me with gasping.

"He apologized?" she yells and I nod confused. "But he said he doesn't want me back. But anyway, I guess I'll just stay in a hotel room until I found a new place." I sigh. She frowns.

"Hell no! You can stay with me and Alec!" she suggest and I nod. "Thank you. Oh! Please don't say anything to Stan about all of this. He doesn't need to know. Bye."

I walk away before she can protest.