Up Where We Belong

Chapter 33

Protect

"Bakit ang tahimik mo?"

Mula sa pagtanaw sa labas ay bumaling ako kay Gab. Ngayon ko lang namalayang kanina pa pala siya nakikiramdam. I have been silent since we left Tita Julia's house. Naunang umalis sina Mommy at Kuya Terron. Sumunod din si Ralph nang nakatanggap ng tawag. Nagsuhestiyon si Tita Julia na doon na kami magpalipas ng gabi ngunit bago pa ako sumang-ayon ay mabilis ng nagdahilan si Gab na kailangan naming umuwi.

I couldn't tell why Gab suddenly wanted to go home. Before leaving the house this morning, we already agreed that we could just stay for a night kina Tita Julia. I'd rather him leave me with Tita Julia than be with him tonight. Pero nang maalala kong anniversary pala ng mag-asawa, I immediately cancelled the idea of staying there. I want them both to make the most out of the day without us spoiling the remaining hours. Now, I understood why everyone urgently left after dinner.

"Nothing." Prente akong sumandal at nilipat ang tingin sa harap.

Dahil nagmamaneho, saglit siyang bumaling sa akin bago kumawala ang malalim na hininga sa kanyang bibig.

"I thought you'd want to go home." He sighed again. "I think I was wrong."

Hindi ko siya kinibo. I just kept my eyes on the road, biting my tongue and clenching my fist. I feel the rage kicking in my system. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I couldn't voice it out because I feel that I'm not in the place to complain about us getting nowhere in this relationship.

I squeezed my eyes shut and filled my lungs with air before shifting my gaze outside.

I heard him sigh again.

Makalipas ang mahabang sandali, nakarinig ako ng tugtog. Pumainlanlang ang music ng Bee Gees mula sa car stereo. Siguro ay hindi na rin nito makayanan ang katahimikan sa loob.

Saglit akong bumaling sa kanya. He was biting his lower lip while leaning his elbow on the window and resting his head on his hand. Nakahawak ang isang kamay sa manibela at seryosong pinukol ang dalawang mata sa daan.

I went back staring outside the window. The music did help in breaking that barrier, whatever it is, between us. At least we're connected when we listen to something old. We're both old souls in this area.

I just hope we're more connected to something than music.

I realized we're taking a different route home. I'm trying my hardest not to kick off a conversation, but I am getting confused already.

I could see trees.

Then, more trees.

We're going uphill. Are we really going home? Saan na ba kami?

I could tell we're somewhere far from Makati now. Papunta kaming Antipolo, nakita ko sa mga signages na naraanan namin na doon nga punta namin.

But why couldn't he tell me where exactly we're going?

Fine. Hindi ko pala siya sinagot kanina sa huli niyang sinabi so he might still be thinking that I am still not in the mood for a conversation. Magmumukha nga naman talaga siyang engot kapag hindi ko siya tinugon sa muling sasabihin niya.

"Are you up for a walk in a hanging bridge?" untag nito sa akin. Papasok ang sasakyan sa isang gate at binagtas pa ang mas matirik na daan.

"Really? I want to rest, Gab. I did not come with you to just spend the night walking in some unknown place."

"Oh. I was wrong again."

Ano naman ba ang akala niya? Na gustong-gusto kong gumala ngayong pagod ako at wala sa huwesiyo. Plano kong matulog pagkarating sa bahay at parte na rin ng plano ko ang paglipat ng lahat ng gamit ko sa guest room. Bahala na siya sa iisipin niya.