Half a World Away // Vinnie Hacker

*15*

we walked into my room and sat on the bed because it was the only place that was relatively comfortable to sit in my entire apartment. I should really look into buying a couch soon. I looked at Vinnie and I could see that he looked stressed out and sort of sad. "You feeling ok?" I asked.

"Stressed, really stressed. That's actually what I wanted to talk about," he said, making eye contact with me. I nodded, signalling he could go on and elaborate. "It's just, I feel like I have been pushing myself so hard and doing so much the past couple weeks and it's just a bit much for me but if I compare how much I'm doing compared to how much the others in the house are doing, it really doesn't feel like much and I guess I just felt like I couldn't talk to any of them about this because of that," he said, looking down and fiddling with his fingers. I felt for him, I really did. when I was cramming towards the end of last year to prepare myself for this year I was really struggling at times because of the amount of work I was doing and all the content I was covering, it amounted to be a lot. 

"FIrst mistake; comparing yourself to the others. Everybody handles stuff differently and different levels of things as well. what have you been doing the past few weeks?" I asked. I only knew of a few photoshoots and interviews. we didn't talk much about school or work when we were with each other. "Well, I've been streaming a lot and trying to upload TikToks to all my accounts at least once every couple of days and I released a song and I've been trying to keep up posting on Instagram and Snapchat. I've also been doing interviews and photo shoots and all that stuff," he said, listing off more stuff than I imagined he would. 

"See, you just listed off more stuff than I expected you to. Maybe you aren't doing as much as the other people in the house are doing but I can almost guarantee that you are doing it through more mediums and putting more effort into it. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and you just need to know that you are doing enough, more than enough right now. You've got how many TikTok accounts, three? and you're keeping up with all of those. You made a god damn song, that takes a long time I'm sure and you've been streaming. you stream at least three hours at a time, right? that's a lot of time and energy being used. And interviews and photoshoots take up a decent amount of time and effort too. Plus you have your other socials and other peoples videos to be in and take care of. I'm sure the people in the house probably think you're pushing yourself a lot too. You're doing so much stuff and I reckon you just need a break. Even if you take a day off, just something to clear your head a bit and take some time to yourself," I said.

He flopped down on my bed, his legs dangling off the edge and staring up at the ceiling. I joined him but instead closed my eyes. "You're very good at making me feel better," Vinnie said. I smiled to myself, feeling accomplished. "There's a reason I chose helping people as my future career," I smiled. we laid there in silence for a few minutes before Vinnie spoke up. "Sometimes I wish I was a normal college student and not a TikToker," he sighed. "What would your major be if you were at uni?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"I honestly have no idea," he laughed, causing me to laugh too. "would you ever trade your life that you have no for a normal 19 year olds life?" I asked. It's an interesting question because he said sometimes he wished he had a normal college life but that's not the same thing as trading his life for a new one. he thought about it for a minute before answering. "No, I wouldn't trade it but I would've liked a bit of the normal college experience before I got quote-unquote famous. god, I hate that word," Vinnie explained. I turned onto my side and rested my head on my hand, "How about you come to a party with me this Saturday? It's at a frat house or something. you can get a taste of the real college experience," I suggested. Vinnie turned onto his side, mimicking me then looked me dead in the eyes, "I like that idea.".

My eyes flicked down to his lips for half a second but immediately back up to his eyes. I think now we've established that I like Vinnie, it's just whether I act on those feelings or not that is the problem now, the whole Jake situation doesn't help. "I think if I want to take a break away from everything I'd have to get out of that house," Vinnie said, referring back to our conversation earlier. "You can stay here if you want," I suggested. Vinnie took a minute to think, looking at the wall behind me and then looked back at me, "How about, this Saturday we go down to the skatepark or something and then we can go to the party together afterwards and we can come back here and do whatever, if that's ok with you of course," Vinnie suggested. I couldn't help but smile at his idea. I've spent a decent amount of time with Vinnie over the past few days, especially today, but I haven't spent a whole two days just the two of us. I could tell we were going to have fun. "I like that idea," I smiled.

"I just realised i haven't eaten yet," i said, paying more attention to the hunger i was feeling. "I haven't either," vinnie added, "Do you wanna order pizza or something?" vinnie asked.

I nodded and we ordered pizza. I pulled my laptop off my desk and opened up stan so that we could pick something to watch while we ate. Vinnie let me pick so i got up heathers because JD is hot, psychotic but hot. we started watching and about ten minutes in the buzzer went off so Vinnie went down to get the pizza. When he came pack up we continued watching the movie and eating pizza. When the movie ended and i finished crying about JD dying (spoiler alert) i insisted on showing Vinnie the TV show Freaks and Geeks. I don't know how much of that we watched but i do remember looking at vinnie about thirty seconds before i fell asleep.