Half a World Away // Vinnie Hacker

*25*

I reluctantly pulled away from Vinnie's lips and looked up at him. His eyes fluttered open slowly and locked with mine. The city lights shined lightly through the window and landed directly onto Vinnie's eyes, highlighting their hazel colour. I put my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. As much as I wanted to just bask in how good this moment felt, Jake couldn't help but weave his way into my thoughts.

I pulled away from the hug and sat back down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Vinnie came and sat down next to me. "Are you ok? Is something wrong?" Vinnie asked. I huffed and pulled my legs into my chest. "Do you actually like me?" I asked Vinnie. Past experiences kept creeping into my mind. "Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?" Vinnie exclaimed, sounding shocked. I think just the fact that he seems so shocked has sort of helped with convincing me that he does actually like me but after everything that happened with Jake, my self worth and my outlook on relationships is sort of destroyed.

I wanted to tell Vinnie about Jake, he deserved to know everything that happened especially because it has an effect on our relationship but it was hard. I've only ever talked about everything that happened to Jess and I've known her almost my entire life, I only met Vinnie a month ago; it's scary opening up to new people. "I don't know, it's just after my last boyfriend it's sort of hard to believe anyone anymore. Things really didn't go well with him and I want to tell you everything but if I'm honest, I'm scared. I don't want anything like that to happen again and, it's not that I don't trust you, it's more that opening up to people is really hard and scary for me," I said looking down and fiddling with my fingers. Vinnie moved closer to me and put his arm over my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug, "I only want you to tell me what you feel comfortable telling me and only when you feel comfortable."

I moved his arm from my shoulders after a few minutes and stood up, pulling his arm to signal him to stand up. I pulled him over to my room and we sat on the bed face to face. we sat in silence for a moment as I fiddled with the rings Vinnie was wearing and tried to organise my thoughts more. "My last boyfriend, Jake, we didn't date for too long, only about a month maybe a little less but that doesn't mean that what happened didn't hurt," I started, continuing to fiddle with Vinnies rings. "Wait, is he the guy that keeps commenting on your posts?" Vinnie asked, earning a nod. "Um, while we were dating everything was going well and I really liked him and I thought he really liked me too but turns out what I thought wasn't exactly what happened. We had known each other for about a year before he finally asked me out and after our second date he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes," I looked up at Vinnie and saw him listening intently.

"Everything was going well and Jess was really supportive of our relationship. about a month after we got together, we went out one night and I thought I was ready to move onto the next stage in a relationship because I really liked and trusted him. So, that night, after we went back to his apartment we... you know... went further... intimately and then the next morning he broke up with me. I felt so used and upset because going that far was a big deal to me but that wasn't even the worst part," I huffed as the pain flooded back.

"A few days after the break up I met up with a couple of Jake and I's friends and after about an hour one of them asked if Jake had broken up with me yet which kinda shocked me because that meant he had talked to them about breaking up with me before the breakup. So obviously, I made them all tell me what he meant and I found out that our entire relationship was based on a bet. The night Jess and I forced him and his friends to watch He's all That, they came up with the idea. Apparently, they had all been trying to get into my pants for ages but I wouldn't budge because I'm not the hookup type so they bet Jake that he couldn't get into my pants and obviously to do that he needed to get me to trust him and for us to be in a relationship. A few weeks after the breakup, he realised that he actually did like me and tried to get me back and has been ever since but I couldn't give two shits about that ass hole anymore it's just all the stuff that comes with going through that," I explained.

I had barely looked at Vinnie the entire time I was speaking because I was scared at what his reaction would be. It can be absolutely terrifying opening up to people especially people you like because you want them to like you back, not see you as damaged goods. Vinnie held one of my hands in his and moved his other hand to my chin, moving it up so that I was looking at him rather than his hands. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that but I promise you, I will never do anything remotely close to that to you. I'm not stupid enough to lose you to something like that, he obviously was and he obviously regrets it. The difference between you two and he's all that is that he didn't end up winning you back," Vinnie said, making me feel that much better.

I smiled at Vinnie, finally feeling like I can believe him when he says he likes me and gave him a short kiss. We sat on the bed and talked for a little longer before curling up and going to bed. We haven't had a proper conversation about what we are yet but I'm ok with that... for now.