Half a World Away // Vinnie Hacker

*20*

We pulled into the garage of my apartment block and we got out of the car, walking towards the staircase. neither of us had said anything the whole car ride, we just let the music play lowly through the speakers. We walked into the stairwell and I felt a tear slip out of my eye, I could feel his hands on me still. Another tear slipped out, I could feel his hand around my wrist. And then another fell, I could feel his lips on mine. I stopped walking and just curled up into a ball on the stairs. I'm not ok anymore.

Vinnie sat down next to me and just held me. That was all I needed at the moment; to be touched by someone who actually cared about me, to get a new persons touch on my skin. We sat there for ten minutes, Vinnie holding me while I cried in a stairwell. It was quite pathetic if I think about it but I can't think about anything other than that guy and the way his eyes showed no sign of remorse or any idea of further repercussions.

Vinnie pretty much had to carry me up to my apartment, which is luckily only on the third floor, because I was shaking from crying. we went straight into my room and sat on the bed. "Are you ok?" Vinnie asked, pulling the covers over me. "No, but I will be as soon as I stop feeling his hands on me," I said, shuddering at the thought. "I'm sorry," Vinnie sighed next to me. I looked at him and I could see guilt all over his face. "What are you sorry for?" I asked, confused. He looked at me and then sat down next to me on the bed. "I promised I wouldn't leave you and I did. If I hadn't left then he wouldn't have done anything," he sighed. I felt bad that he thought it was his fault. It's not his fault in any way whatsoever.

"Vinnie, it's not your fault. It's the dick heads fault because he's the one that did it. I don't want you to blame yourself. If it weren't for you then who knows how far he would've gone. I'm so extremely grateful that you were there, I don't think he is I think you fucked him up pretty bad, but I'm more grateful than you could even imagine," I smiled at Vinnie. Even in the worst of times, I manage to put on a smile and now is no exception. But this time it's different because I mean it. I mean the smile and I'm not hiding behind it. Vinnie really saved me out there and I couldn't be more grateful. obviously, I'm still shaken up because it happened in the first place but I am so so grateful that Vinnie got there when he did. "Are you sure? You're not mad that I didn't get there earlier or something?" He asked, looking up at me. I was now sitting up slightly and he was lying down next to me. I shook my head, "No, I couldn't be more grateful, especially because I don't have my family or friends with me now because I'm on the other side of the world so I'm glad I have you now," I said, looking down at him. He smiled up at me and then I moved down so that I could lean on his chest. 

We laid there for a long time, I couldn't tell you exactly how long but to me, it felt like a lifetime and if I had the choice, I wouldn't mind staying like that for the rest of mine. Vinnie got up to go to the bathroom and I pulled out the hoodie that I borrowed from him the other day and put it on. This whole relationship with Vinnie is really confusing me. He stays over often, we lie in bed and cuddle like a couple and he lets me wear his hoodies but we're not a couple. I don't know if he likes me or if he's just this kind of person. I honestly don't know. It would have helped if I had known him for a while before I started to get feelings for him because then I would know him more and better but we'll see.

I really don't want Vinnie to leave but I also sort of need him to leave so that I can call Jess and talk to her about everything. I need her to help me figure out what I should do about my feelings or if I should do anything at all. This whole relationship thing is way too confusing for me and way too much pressure. Vinnie came back into the room and got under the covers. I joined him, picking my phone up off the nightstand. I quickly texted Jess and told her that I needed to talk to her tomorrow about Vinnie. In hindsight, I probably should have left Vinnie's name out of the text because my phone immediately started blowing up, text after text coming through. I powered off my phone and put it back on the nightstand. Vinnie picked my hand up from my side and started rubbing it lightly, "Are you doing ok?" he asked. I turned over in the bed and faced him, my nose pretty much brushing his cheek, "Yeah, I'm doing ok." I fell asleep minutes later, today had really drained me.