ruthless; jj m.

13

I'll admit, after Rafe left, I was stressed. For some reason, I was feeling so guilty about sleeping with him which was odd because I've never felt that way before. My heart began to race and my breath was fast and uneasy as I thought about the events that occurred not thirty minutes ago.

Really? A fucking panic attack?

I took off all of my clothes and got into the shower as I tried to calm myself down. I hear JJ's voice in the back of my mind, recalling the fight we had at Barry's house. How could he say those things to me? 

How could I say those things to him?

No. He deserved it. But if he deserved it, why was I feeling so guilty? As mad as I was at him, I still had feelings for him that weren't going away anytime soon. 

I quickly got out of the shower and dried myself off. I went into my room to put on some clothes. I grabbed a pair of black baggy sweats and as I looked around for a shirt, JJ's sweater caught my eye from across the room. 

After putting it on, I put my hair up into a big hair clip and sat down on my couch, and brought my knees to my chest as I wrapped my arms around them. I felt my eyes starting to tear up and soon enough tears fell onto my cheeks.

I heard the back door open and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes with the sleeves of JJ's black sweater. "Scar? You here?" I heard Kie say as she entered the living room. "Hey," Pope said to me in a soft voice. 

The two noticed my puffy eyes and sat down beside me. "You okay?" Kie asked me. I nodded as I sniffed. "I'm sorry, Scar," Pope said as he placed a hand on my back in an attempt to comfort me. I looked over at him and smiled, "It's fine." I said to him. 

Soon enough, I felt Kie pull down the sweater around my neck. "Scar... what is on your neck?" She asked me and Pope soon looked at my neck and analyzed the hickeys. I stood up and shook my head. "It's nothing," I said as I went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. 

"Please don't tell me you slept with someone else," Pope said to me and he looked at me with pleading eyes. "No, please don't tell me you slept with who I think you slept with," Kie said to me. I detected disappointment in her voice, and I didn't blame her. 

I avoided all eye contact with them and they both sighed. "Why, Scarlett?" Pope asked me. I shrugged. "Because it made me feel better," I said as I took another sip of my water. "Really? Is that why you're wearing JJ's hoodie?" Kie asked me as she looked me dead in the eyes. 

I scoffed at her question. "That's a great observation, Kie. Thank you very much for bringing that up." I said as I sat back down on the couch. "You feel guilty." She stated. She was right and we all knew it. 

"Obviously I feel fucking guilty, Kiara," I admitted as a tear fell from my eye. Pope very clearly looked conflicted. JJ was his best friend so he was upset with me, but JJ also said some really rude things to me, so he was upset with him as well. 

She stood up and sat next to me. "Why'd you do it?" She asked me. Pope stood up and sat on the other side of me. I sighed before I spoke and a couple more tears fell. "Rafe said some shit a few days ago that got in my head," I said truthfully. 

Pope looked over at me. "What'd he say to you?" He asked. I looked over at him and he wiped the tears off of my face, which made me cry even more. "That JJ and I wouldn't last and that I'd come back to him because I'm incapable of letting someone love me," I said and the tears were streaming down my face at this point.

Kie and Pope both shook their heads. "That's not true. Why would he say that?" Kie asked me. I sighed before answering her. "Because we dated before I dated Kelce. He was my first love. He knows exactly how to hurt me." I admitted.