Carolina Wren

Chapter 38

Wren's POV

There have been plenty of moments in my life since I came to live with Sheila where I resented her very existence. It only got worse after each of my siblings were born and more and more of the responsibility was transferred to me. I never asked for this, nothing about their presence in my life has been my choice. I love them more than anything in the world, but I resented that I was having to step in to raise them. Resented that she kept deliberately having children knowing that she wasn't going to take care of them the way a mother should.

My resentment had never been stronger than it was now, though. Dylan had needed me to walk him to school while the babies had needed me to stay at home with them. Juni needed me to hold her and walk her around while Keegan needed me to sit and cuddle with him on the couch. The boys had been sick at the same time before, but it had never been like this. The babies are both small and they both need all of me but there isn't enough of me to give.

Sheila couldn't care less. She has always had children out of her own selfish desires, what happens to them afterwards is the least of her concerns. I could relate to Sean's story of abandonment in ways that he doesn't understand, but he got away. I got a taste of a better life--my dad wasn't perfect, but he was loving and kind and that was all I had ever known. Then, in the midst of a grief that I can't begin to explain, I got sent back to the pit of despair. I got to relive that experience of abandonment every time she brought a new baby home. I never have to wonder how easy it was for her to throw me away because I've seen it three times.

She doesn't care that we're miserable, just that her paycheck is coming in.

There wasn't a moment all day where one of them wasn't whining, crying, or fussing and when the doorbell rang around 11:30 in the morning, part of me hoped that it was Sean, even though I knew he was at work. Juni was content in my arms, but Keegan was crying in the family room as I made my way to the door. It took a second for my vision to adjust to looking through the peephole but when I finally focused, my eyes nearly fell out of my head.

Numbly, I pulled the door open for the delivery driver with a short greeting as I took in all of the bags collected around him. It's more than double the groceries that I can buy for a week, even when Sheila isn't shortchanging me. Without looking up from his clipboard, the guy said, "Hello, I've got a delivery for Wren Nelson?"

"That's me," I said nervously as Keegan's crying ramped up in the background. "Are you sure all of these are mine?"

Instead of replying, he handed me something to sign before turning and walking quickly away. I couldn't blame him, I probably looked like a disaster and the screaming kid in the background didn't help. I moved the bags inside the door before determining which ones needed to go in the fridge or freezer. When I got the perishables put away, I pulled out my phone to text Sean as I looked over the items in front of me.

Wren: Did you put your grocery order in with what you had sent to my house? There's too much here.

Sean: Nope, it's all yours.

Wren: There's way too much.

Sean: Does it not all fit in the fridge?

Wren: It does, I mean this is more than what I had written down for you. What I had ordered was already more than enough.

Wren: How much formula did you order?!

Sean: I took some liberties. Try the fruit popsicles for Keegan, they should feel good on his throat.