Carolina Wren

Chapter 45

Wren's POV

Time passed slowly, minutes ticking by like hours stretching into the night. Kota's room smelled like him, like spices. It would be comforting if it wasn't so overwhelming. My brain wouldn't stop moving. Every time I closed my eyes, they burst back open before I'd roll over to check to make sure Dylan was still by my side. That Keegan was still breathing on the trundle bed below us. That Juni was still fast asleep in the pack and play. That the door was still shut, locked against Sheila or anyone else.

The voices downstairs grew loud enough I could hear them a few times, even though I couldn't make out the words they were saying. Mr. Blackbourne had pulled me aside before I went upstairs, explained that they'd be having a team meeting to discuss their mission at the school and his expectations for them going forward with them basically moving into my house with me.

For a moment, I'd been hurt. After everything, they still want to be secretive. By the time I reached the top of the stairs, I'd accepted that not everything was about me. Mr. Blackbourne had made it perfectly clear weeks ago that I wasn't part of their team, wasn't part of their investigation beyond what they couldn't control. Boundaries are good. They've established theirs, and I'll have my own.

It didn't make me feel better, though. My fear for the kids. The anger and pain from what Sheila had done to me and our home. My mixed emotions over the guys and the fact my future was now wrapped up in them and their ability to be trusted after what they did to us. All of it was swirling around in my brain and instead of getting quieter, it was getting louder.

It felt like someone had tossed a coin into an empty well and it was rattling around restlessly, still. And the longer I sat there, staring into shadows of a room that wasn't mine, the more restless I became. Every breath that I pulled into my lungs had the walls growing closer, but exhaling did nothing to push them away. The faster I breathed, the faster they came, and the faster they came, the faster I breathed as they threatened to squash me into oblivion.

Air. I need air.

Slipping out of bed, I tiptoed across the room. The stairwell only made the feeling worse, like I was trying to trip my way through the world's worst fun house. By the time I fumbled my way through the dark to reach the front door, my head was reeling, and I thought I'd start screaming if I didn't get outside in the next six seconds.

My fingers had just wrapped around the handle when a hand landed on my shoulder, too big to be Sheila's. For a moment, I forgot where I was. I forgot that I was safe and that the men here wouldn't hurt me, even if they could be jackasses sometimes. I twisted around, shoving that hand off of me as I raised my fists into a defensive position.

Lewis. How had he found us? It had been years since he darkened our doorstep. Two years since he'd tried to—

"Wren." That voice wasn't right. "Wren, baby." That voice was gruff, but gentle. Quiet. Pleading. Lewis wasn't any of those things. "You're safe, Wren. You're at Kota's house. Dylan, Keegan, and Juni are asleep upstairs. All of the others are camped out in the living room."

North. This was North. The same North who had been ready to kill Gus without anything other than my word on what had happened in the cafeteria. The same North who coaxed me down the ladder and then carried me upstairs after Friday Fall. The same North who is so gentle and sweet with my baby sister. North wouldn't hurt me, and neither would the others.

It took a moment for his words to make sense in my head. They had stayed? All of them? "I can't breathe," I whispered. There wasn't any air. It was like the house had targeted me alone, stealing away the oxygen that would keep me alive.