COSMOS

Gentiana scabra: I love you despite the sadness

NSFW

You approach me from someplace far away. My heart trembles, how can I express this feeling?

You leave me for someplace far away. How can I stop these tears from falling?

You stole my heart from the start. You gave me an incurable disease.

I wish to become a flowerpot. I pray to God, always.

- Flowerpot, Loveholic

Gentiana scabra is a wildflower found in Korea and Japan, known for its bright blue and purple colors. When Gentianas flourish, their weak stems hold more blossoms than they can manage and sway, eventually falling to the ground. Still, between the fallen leaves and broken stems, new flowers will keep blooming throughout the season, earning its flower meaning of "I love you despite the sadness."

***

Justin was already awake when Brett returned home at dawn.

"Where were you? Why didn't you answer my calls?" Justin asked, rushing to the front step. Brett smelled buttered toast and fresh coffee brewing in the kitchen, a comforting aroma that soothed him down.

"I was worried," Justin sighed, touching Brett's cheek with affection.

Brett didn't answer but tiptoed to kiss Justin lightly on the lips. Just from that small gesture and the guilty look from Brett, Justin knew Brett was with Eddy.

"Is something wrong?" Justin asked.

"Eddy...broke up with Hannah. He is going through a rough time," Brett replied. As soon as he opened his mouth, Brett choked, unable to conceal a painful cough that he has been hiding all night next to Eddy. A few petals flew out of his mouth, landing right between his feet.

"Baby, you should..." Justin patted Brett's back alarmingly, trying to help Brett breathe better. Brett quickly wiped his bloody mouth with his sleeve, as if to show he couldn't care less about the freaking flowers right now. Justin stopped what he was about to suggest and sighed, smoothly stroking Brett's back instead. "Alright, I understand. So no work today?"

"Probably not. Eddy is not in the condition to do anything. I need to go back to him. I just came back home to gather some stuff."

Brett passed Justin and walked straight to the bedroom. Justin stood unmoving in the front step for a moment as Brett started to pack his clothes and laptop.

"Don't forget your cellphone charger," Justin managed to croak out as he followed Brett to the bedroom.

Brett hurriedly threw his stuff in a small duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder. Just as Brett was about to leave, Justin tightly hugged Brett from behind, stopping him.

"Brett...are you going to stay here if I ask you to?" Justin's voice was quiet.

Brett fell silent as he looked out the window to the backyard. The purple chrysanthemums were still growing in the corner, despite how Justin had said it would wilt in no time. Brett couldn't help but think how much Justin resembled that flower. Such a perfect sweet person, ready to give his all to Brett, and yet...

"I'm...not sure," Brett stammered, closing his eyes in shame.

"Don't leave me. Stay here," Justin pressed Brett to the wall.

Before Brett could even resist, Justin started kissing Brett, strong and desperate. Brett gasped in Justin's mouth as a warm tongue lustfully enclosed Brett's, pressing firmer on the lower lips. Justin knew exactly how Brett liked to be kissed. Brett's breathing raced as he felt a growing heat between his legs when Justin's thigh rubbed deeper into his. This was so perfect. This moment was just what Brett needed. However, Brett pulled back, gently letting Justin know that he should go.