His Scars

9. Drunken Confessions

KANE

I sensed it when she walked into class.

I knew when I told her how I felt, she would look like a kicked puppy. But in her defense, she tried really hard not to. I wondered if she cried. I had kept my curtains closed all weekend.

I was afraid that I would see the aftermath of that day and I wouldn't be able to leave her alone. I wondered if she was coping well.

She had thanked me for protecting her. When she had ended up being the one doing the protecting. Letting him slobber over her when she realised it would stop them from hurting me. As though I couldn't take beating. 

Her voice shook when she said bye to me.

I really didn't think I would feel like an asshole. But I did.

I heard her talking to some of our classmates, but her voice didn't sound as bubbly as it usually did. But she tried.

It was like she was afraid to catch my attention when she quietly slid in to her chair, in contrast to how she usually just dumped herself into it.

She moved back to her previous seat.

I had just pushed her into Eric's path. I swallowed. I hadn't thought of that. I assumed she would die before she went back to that seat. I assumed she would remain here but we just wouldn't talk as much anymore.

The image of Eric kissing her had been seared into my brain. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the fear in her eyes at the beating I was taking. I saw her accepting his kiss to protect me. We were equally bad for each other. Because I was jumping to her defense even at my own peril and she was doing the same thing. We had to stay away from each other.

Just then Eric dumped his bag on the floor near his chair. My eyes shifted from her to him.

"What happened here?" He asked gleefully. "She tired of your ugly mug?"

Usually, she would jump at my defense. But now, the only clue that she had heard him was the way her body tensed.

She didn't face away from the window. Both of us ignored Eric.

I tried to ignore how he kept trying to make conversation with her through class. But it was like she couldn't hear him. Not once did she look away from the wet window.

She never came to the cafeteria for lunch. Neither did Matt. But Gina did, and she sat opposite me.

"Hey." She greeted.

"Hey." Was she here to call me jerk? Because it wasn't news to me and I would tell her to save her breath. 

"You okay?" She asked and I couldn't keep the surprise off my face.

"Why?" I asked.

"I understand your reasons. All of us do. And I know you can't be friends with Sage for the stuff she's going through right now. But Matt and I are still here for you should you need us. And you seemed to be falling into the friendship with her for a while there. So I feel like it wasn't all that easy to cut her off."

I didn't respond.

"So I just wanted to check on you."

"I'm fine." I said, suddenly wondering if I was telling the truth.

She accepted my lie with a nod. "Good."

"Aren't you supposed to be on her side and hating me?" I questioned.

She laughed. "We're not kids, Kane." She said. "Besides, it's not like you're some boyfriend who's spurned her. You were honest with her. You gave her a reason as to why you couldn't do it. It's nobody's fault. I saw how you looked, I think all of us understand."