His Scars

26. Familiar

Hey Kids, 

Update time. I hope this chapter is nice. Errryone is struggling. Let's be understanding of my poor babies and the pain that I'm inflicting on them. 

Do comment and let me know what you think. 

I will try to update again soon. 

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SAGE

True to my word, I had stayed away from Kane. I didn't even have to move desks. He did it this time. With Eric gone, we no longer need to worry about where we sat. 

It was excruciating to have to stare at the back of his beautiful head, even if the hood had come back up now. He never so much as glanced at me anymore. 

There was no animosity that I sensed or anything negative at all really. He just pretended that he didn't know me. And after the first few days of tracking him with my eyes or glancing up every time he walked into the room, I too adopted his style and pretended like we didn't know each other. When in the beginning I would try to avoid him, now I just went on with my life as though I wasn't bothered at all by his presence. 

My friends had given me updates about him in the beginning but I had stopped that too. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear about how good or bad he was doing. If he was doing well, it made me jealous that I wasn't sharing that with him. If he wasn't doing well, it made me worry endlessly and I had to remind myself that he had been fine all these years and he would continue to be fine, with or without me. 

Gina and Matt had kept their friendships with Kane. Not that I had expected or wanted otherwise. They had developed their own equations with him and I felt reassured they didn't feel like they had to choose. 

 The only other place we had any real danger of bumping into each other and it being awkward was the cafeteria. A lot of the time Kane ate in his truck now, and if he was at the cafeteria before me, my friends would text me and I'd stay clear of it. 

Two months had gone by like this. A part of me hadn't really believed that we would keep this up. But we did. Kane stayed true to his word and pretended like we hadn't shared some of our most vulnerable moments with each other and I pretended I wasn't desperately in love with him. 

I stood in my room, staring at my closet. There was a party I would be going to that night. I had steered clear of those for a while but Gina and Matt had had enough. I was going now more because I was being forced than anything else. 

I figured I shouldn't put a stop to my life just because a big part of it didn't want anything to do with me anymore. 

I was going to look cute, dance, drink and have a blast. I had promised Kane that if loving him ever hurt me, I wouldn't let it destroy me. Time to make good on that promise. 

I picked out a short black dress with a sweetheart neckline and off-shoulder sleeves. I tried not to think about what Kane might have thought about the dress. I paired it with black strappy heels and a choker. 

Just as I was done getting ready, Matt texted me saying he would be home to pick me up in five minutes. As I left my room, I risked a glance at my window, the curtains to which had been drawn closed for two months now. Swallowing, I left. 

I stood outside, ignoring the wind as it nipped at my hair and bare skin. It was better this way. This physical cold seemed to take my attention away from the ice that wound its way around my soul. 

I looked up when I heard footsteps only to freeze. I saw him every day, so my reaction shouldn't have been like this. He mirrored my stance, frozen as he looked at me. But only for a second. He was in a sleeveless hoodie and running shorts. He'd always gone for his run early in the morning. It made sense that I no longer bumped into him. He had changed shifts.