His Scars

10. Love and Rejection

SAGE 

No. No. No. 

The word bounced around my head like a mantra. My head was pounding like someone was taking a hammer to my skull. It didn't help that Caleb was making sure to drive over every pothole and bump as a way to punish me. I closed my eyes behind my shades, massaging my temples with my fingers.

Gina and I had decided to have a girl's night the previous night. We had invited Matt but he had plans with his boys. We had gone too hard and I ended up blubbering about my feelings for Kane to her. 

"Call him!" She cheered. 

"He doesn't want to talk to me." I slurred. But calling and giving him a piece of my mind was seeming like an increasingly good idea. 

"You should demand to know why!" Gina pumped her fist in the air. 

I stared at his caller picture. I had snuck it when he was going through his notes in class. We were still friends then. His hair fell over his forehead, adorably mussed from when he had his hood on. His lips were pouting in concentration and it made me swoon. 

I groaned and tossed my phone at her. "He's so beautiful." 

She reached to catch it and missed. It bounced off her head and she collapsed in pain. 

"I'm calling him." She grunted and pressed dial. She  was still splayed on the floor. She put the phone on speaker. I stared at her in panic for a second. The reality of actually hearing his voice made me jump to action and I pounced on her, disconnecting the call. 

Almost a few seconds later, it rang again, making me jump. I bounced on my bed in fear. She hit the accept button and tossed the phone to me. 

Catching it, I put it to my ear. "Kane?" I asked, timidly. 

When I saw him from across my window, all the feelings I had tried to bury came flooding back. My heart ached at the sight of him. It ached at the familiarity his eyes held for me. Eyes I had not looked into for weeks. 

It was like I had verbal diarrhoea. The words just kept tumbling out before I could stop them. I watched his expressions change from surprised to shocked. I knew he could see the truth in my words...the desperation in my eyes. 

I slunk down in the passenger seat in embarrassment as the last words I said to him the previous night rattled in my brain. 

"I love you the most." 

I groaned out loud. 

"You deserve this, you know." I glared at Caleb. He smiled good-naturedly. He loved these moments. He loved to torture me. 

"Why would you drink like this on a weeknight?" 

I punched him hard on the shoulder and he growled in annoyance. "You trying to kill us?" He snapped as he swerved. 

"Just you." I retorted. 

---

"I'm just going to pretend that I don't remember anything." I strategised as Matt howled with laughter. I hadn't spoken to them about my feelings and now they were on display in the most embarrassing way. Matt had not stopped laughing since Gina and I had spilled the beans to him. And this was last night right after I had confessed to Kane. 

Gina had ignored the fact that he was at a party. She made him go to a quiet place and we giggled over my achievement as we told him the story. Now I wasn't so proud. And he was still guffawing like a donkey. 

"I must have seemed drunk enough to black out." I said turning to face them as I walked backward. 

"If I just tell him that I don't remember anything, he'll be a gentleman and not bring it up. Then we can all pretend I haven't fallen hopelessly in love with the one guy who can't stand the sight of m-- uff." I swivelled to look at what I had whacked my head against to see none other than the chest I would recognise even in the dark.