His Scars

23. And What a Beautiful Death it Will Be

Hey kids, 

I woke up at 2:00 a.m. a few nights back and wrote a rough draft of the chapter that comes next. It still needs fleshing out and some more thought. But it was from that, that this was born. 

My brain is super tired. Thought this was going to be super fillery. But I guess we'll be learning some things and meeting some people. 

I hope you like this chapter. 

My eyes are literally like this  -o- . The thing in the center is my mouth.

I'm going to go sleep now. Goodnight. 

---

SAGE

Kane was back in class in no time. His chest was still bandaged under his shirt but the bruises had resided. He was still in a bit of pain. 

For someone who had just gotten his ass kicked though, he seemed to be in a better mood than I had ever seen him. At least as much as was possible for Kane and his stoic face. He didn't really look like he was angry at the world anymore. 

He even cracked more smiles than was warranted at Matt's inane jokes. Matt and Gina had been showering Kane with love and attention. Even more than me. They didn't let him lift a finger. If Kane hadn't threatened to disembowel him, Matt wouldn't have allowed Kane to drive home. 

He was also restless. His injuries had put a stop to his workouts. I had to physically stop him from shaking his leg in class more times than I could count. 

But the sight of him made my heart swell. To see him actively engaging himself with us and not have to be invited. He truly had started to see himself as part of us now. 

There was one more thing I had begun noticing. Something that made my  heart race                      a-mile-a-minute even though it knew better.

Stolen glances. Accidental brushing. Reddening cheeks. Reddening ears. Moments. Desire. 

And not from me. I'd caught him watching me on more than one occasion. Every time our hands brushed or we touched, his ears or cheeks would turn red. Which made me want to kiss him till he overheated. Every time we got a little too close to each other he'd stop and stare. His eyes would drop to my lips. He'd swallow hard and then clumsily put distance between us. 

He knew I would never volunteer distance. If I found myself with only a whisper of a  breath between us, it would still be too far. How many times had I watched his eyes cloud with desire? Especially on those days where I put a little extra effort into myself. 

I had found his weakness. On days when I felt cruel and wanted his attention, I wore off shoulder tops, skirts, sneakers and clear lip gloss. He seemed to like when I tied my hair up. Although I usually did that when needed to keep it out of my face, I did it sometimes just to drive him crazy. He seemed to be quite mesmerized when my neck was exposed. 

Was I being a tease? Yes. Was I feeling bad for teasing him? Absolutely not. 

But I never dared to get my hopes up. I knew even if he fell head over heels in love with me, his steely control would never let him change his mind. He had made his stance clear. I would not ask for more. But I liked how he looked when he wanted me. It was selfish, but it was the only thing I had. It let me imagine what it would have been like in a world where we could be together. 

It must have been two weeks later when Gina and I decided to go on a dinner date. Without the  boys. It was a fancy dinner too. We got dolled up, wore classy dresses and high heels and hit up an Italian restaurant. We did this once in a while. Took each other out on a girls night and dished on the lives of which almost every moment was spent together.