Spare Heart

{53}

      I wiped my tears as I smiled at C's grave. She would know what to do, she always did. And on the off chance she didn't she'd definitely sweet talk Justin into forgiving me. Seeing her grave bought me some comfort but along with that was copious amounts of pain. But it seems like I wanted that after yesterday. I already felt like a shit person so I made myself feel even shittier. Logical right? 

      I picked up my phone when it started buzzing. "Have you spoken to Dean yet?" My mom's voice flowed through the phone. 

      "Not yet. I thought he'd want me to leave him alone. I'm at the graveyard," I explained so she'd understand why I was sniffling. 

      "Are you stupid? He rang me last night, apologizing for causing commotion and hurting Justin. Then he said sorry for upsetting you. You two are the same. He felt so bad he thought it'd be better to leave you alone. You better go see him," she scolded and I quickly stood up, almost stumbling over a rock. 

      "I'll go talk to him now."

      "You better fix things with him. If I see a frown on your face when your back I'm going to kill both of you idiots. You're both too busy worrying about how the other one feels that you won't speak to each other," she exclaimed incredulously. 

      "Okay, okay. I get the point," I muttered, wiping the dirt off my ass. 

      "Good," she said firmly before hanging up. 

      "I'll see you later C. Let's hope I don't make things worse." Kissing my two of my fingers I pressed them onto Chantelle's headstone and I was off. I walked all the way to Dean's apartment, taking brief pauses to get my breath back. It was much further than I thought. Determination ran through me the whole way but once I got to his door I froze, sudden nervousness hitting me. Just because he felt bad didn't mean he wanted to see me. 

      Still huffing and puffing because I'm as fit as a turtle I knocked on the door before I could rethink my decision. What's the worst that could happen? Oh yeah Dean could scream at me, say he never wants to see me again and break up with me. Why the hell did I knock on the door? Smart choice Jade, real smart. 

      Honestly it's like my brain doesn't work some⏤"Jade?"

      The breath that I had left was knocked out of me. Hearing Dean's voice I looked up hesitantly. His face was blank, giving me no clue as to how he felt. What if he thought I was the biggest asshole in the world? Because I was. The biggest asshole to ever exist. I should've just let hi⏤"Calm down," he ordered. He pulled me into his apartment and I shuffled awkwardly on the spot. I didn't know what to say. 

      "Hi," I whispered, suddenly finding the white speck on the floor very intriguing. I wonder what it could be. Mayo? Egg whites? Cu⏤

      "Hi," he chuckled, cutting my thoughts off for a third time. He forced my head up and I looked into his eyes reluctantly. I frowned at the bruises on his face. They were all a deep purple color, contrasting against his skin disgustingly, and very hard to miss.

      "I'm sorry," I blurted out instantly.

      "It's not your fault baby," he sighed, knowing what I was thinking. 

      "It clearly is. Look at your face, it's my fault," I scoffed, my frown only deepening. They fought because of me and I'm pretty sure that makes it my fault. 

      "It's not. It's no ones unless you want to get technical then it's my fault."

      "How is it your fault?" I asked disbelievingly, furrowing my brows.