Kingdom of Scourge and Shadow (The Sightstone Series #1)

Chapter Sixteen: Natalie

"A note to all thieves: The easiest way to pick a pocket is to direct the mark's attention to his watch, and then steal his wallet. That way, his mind is on the watch, worrying that you're going to steal it, and he won't even notice that the wallet is missing until you're long gone."

-Unknown, A Guide to Common Thieving Practices

***

 Strolling down the Østen Kanal at Aleksei's side, nibbling on poffertjes, Natalie could almost pretend that they were back in Odensk, that none of the past few years had happened. That she'd never fled Saroviya. That she'd never come to Allerstad, never joined the Specters, never started working at the Tempest.

Almost.

But the secrets of the past hung over her like a pall, and, every so often, when the conversation hit a lull, or when Natalie passed a Specter-owned property, or anything else that reminded her of everything that had come between them, it would descend, suffocating and cold, and she would feel herself begin to shut down.

"Natalya?" Aleksei asked, on one such occasion, and hearing that name on his lips felt like a slap. She wasn't Natalya anymore; she couldn't be. "What's wrong?"

She yanked her arm from his hold and took a few shaky steps towards the edge of the canal, staring into the depths of the murky water as people hurried past on the quay, ignoring her, ignoring Aleksei, and dodging around them like they were obstacles in their paths.

"I don't..." Natalie began, then hesitated. "I'm not sure how to say this."

"Just try," Aleksei prompted gently, joining her at the edge of the water. "I'll listen. Whatever it is... I'll listen. I promise."

Natalie sighed. "You don't know," she said wearily. "You can't promise that. The last few years... they haven't been easy."

Aleksei didn't say anything, just inched closer, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from his skin as a blustery wind buffeted her and the water lapped at the edge of the quay. Somewhere far away, a church bell chimed the half-hour, then fell silent again.

"You know," she began, with a rueful laugh. "That name. Nobody's called me Natalya in a very long time. It doesn't... it doesn't even feel like my name anymore."

"Then what does?" Aleksei asked, no judgement in his voice.

"Natalie," she said, a note of sadness creeping into her voice. "It's... When I came here, I needed to start over. So I took the Rjikean version of my name. You know I've always spoken good Rjikean. Well, most people here, I think they think I'm only part-Saroviyan. That I'm Rjikean. It... was a good way to disappear."

"I see," Aleksei said, but Natalie could tell he didn't. Not really.

"Anyway," she said, forcing a note of cheerfulness into her voice. "I go by Natalie now. Honestly, it feels more like me, I guess."

"Natalie," Aleksei said, as if testing the word on his tongue, and Natalie found she rather liked how it sounded when he said her name. "I can work with that."

His flirtatious smile began to warm that cold, broken part of her, deep inside, the part built by countless clients and countless nights in her bedroom at the Tempest, countless gaudy dresses and countless drunken slurs and insults.

"Anyway," Natalie said, doing her best to shake off her mood and putting on the flirtatious mask she put on every night before she started work. Somehow, it felt dirty and cruel to use it with Aleksei, but she couldn't continue this conversation any long. "How long are you in Allerstad for? I never asked."