Kingdom of Scourge and Shadow (The Sightstone Series #1)

Chapter Twenty-Five: Natalie

"The demons of our past will always war with out better angels."

-from The Holy Scriptures of the Allsaints, Volume II, Verse XI

***

 Natalie hadn't expected it to hurt so much, when Jan let slip that he knew why she'd come to Allerstad–or at least part of why she'd come. Max was staring at her like a wounded animal, his eyes wide and hurt. Jan looked expectant as he reclined in his desk chair, tapping his fingers against the polished top. And Zoya... Zoya was as hard to read as ever.

Natalie turned away. She couldn't bear the way Max was looking at her, like she'd somehow wronged him by not confiding in him. Maybe she had. She didn't know. It felt rather like she didn't know anything anymore.

"Well?" Jan prompted, sounding impatient. "Are you going to tell us?"

Could she tell them? Could she confide in them? Could she trust them? If she couldn't, they might well hand her over to the Saroviyans themselves, and, if Jan was an ordinary gang leader, if Max was an ordinary escort and thief, if Zoya was an ordinary... whatever she was–no, she reminded herself. There was nothing ordinary about Zoya.

If they were more like the usual kind of people who ended up in the gangs of the Old Stad, then she never would have even considered it. Gangs normally looked after their members, but a price like the one Zima and the king had put on her head would have made even the most loyal gang members think twice.

Still, the payout they'd get for Sankta Evgenia's necklace dwarfed the bounty on her head, and to pull off Jan's plan, they needed her. She also knew that no other gang in Allerstad had an Elemental working for them. That made her somewhat indispensable.

She took a shaky breath. She had to tell them. There was no way around it.

"I grew up in Severinsk, on the Caedish border in western Saroviya," she said, and the words came out, halting and uncertain. "In Saroviya, when a child first starts school, they're tested by mage Testers, and, if it's discovered that they're mages, they're sent to the royal palace, to train in the East Wing until they're ready to serve in the Order of Mages. Unlike in Caedland or Araiya, you aren't drafted when you turn eighteen; you're sent to Kirovburg as soon as your powers are discovered. I was six when they found me, and I haven't seen my family since then."

"Saints," she heard Jan breathe. "That's... that's not right."

"Anyway," Natalie forced herself to continue. "When I was first tested, I exhibited control over both air and water, but in Saroviya, unlike in other kingdoms, you can only train with one element. I didn't know why at the time, but... Well, anyway, I started training with air, and, by the time I graduated, I was the best airwitch in the Order of Mages. I was deployed to Odensk, to held defend against Shan and Caedish naval attacks."

"And that's where you met Captain Lazarov?" Jan prompted.

"It was," Natalie confirmed, rubbing her hand across her brow to try to dispel the headache that was forming. "The Sunseeker was stationed in port, and all the girls had a thing for him. I met him on a night out, and we started seeing each other, but, after about a year, the Sunseeker was sent new orders and left to patrol the trade routes between Saroviya and Rijkelund. Caedish ships were becoming a problem for our merchants, and the king wanted added protection in the region. I guess... I guess that's why Aleksei's here now."

Her temples throbbed, and she crossed the room on shaky legs and poured herself a generous glass of whiskey from the bar cart that Jan always kept stocked in a corner of the room. She took a long gulp, and it burned as she swallowed it, giving her the strength she needed to go on.