Daddy Issues

31| Compromise

Iɴᴅɪᴀ Jᴏʜɴsᴏɴ

I wake up and try to stretch but there was a dead wait across me. I look down to see an arm around my waist and my legs tangled with someone else's. I move my head slightly to see Alex and immediately take a breath of relief until the memories of last night hit me.

Alex making me drink some water and take some tablets.

Alex getting me changed into my pyjamas.

Alex tying my hair up.

Alex wrapping me in my blanket.

Alex's sad expression mixed with a concerned one.

Alex putting me to bed, on my side.

It all comes rushing back to me with hot flushes. I try and try to get out of Alex's grip until I eventually just ripped him off of me and ran into the bathroom.

I threw up all in the toilet and kicked the door shut with my leg.

I then lie down on the cool tiled floor.

The door gets flung open and I carefully get picked up and sat against the side of the bathtub.

The toilet flushes and then I'm hoisted up.

My toothbrush is put in my hand. I look up at Alex who can barely look at me and all of a sudden I feel even worse.

I drop my toothbrush in the sink and kneel back down infront of the toilet.

I empty my stomach into the toilet whilst Alex ties my hair back and mutters "I'm gonna fucking kill him." Under his breath.

"You're alright." He says rubbing my back. This is embarrassing. Not only is it embarrassing but I didn't even drink that much.

"I didn't even drink that much. Did I?" I mumble whilst running a hand over my face. "No, but I think Kyle was mixing your drinks." He says and I sigh. "Don't blame it on him." I say slowly standing up and walking over to the sink to brush my teeth.

"I'll blame who I want. He knew exactly what he was doing to you India, he was trying to piss me off. And now I am pissed." He says watching me as I brush my teeth.

"You were being reckless." He says and I nod. I know I was. I didn't even check what Kyle was handing me.

"I was scared." He admits and I quickly spit out the toothpaste. "Really?" I ask and he nods. "I hate drunk people." He says sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "Im so sorry." I apologise and he nods.

"Can I hug you?" I ask and he scoffs. "You stink." He says and I pout. He rolls his eyes and then opens his arms. I smile and rush into the hug. I stand inbetween his legs and rest my head in his neck.

"Don't you dare go back to sleep." He scolds and I smile. "I'm not." I say and kiss his neck. I pull back to meet his eyes and his jaw tenses.

"I need a shower." I say and he nods. "You smell awful." He chimes and I smile. "You'll be here after my shower right?" I ask and he nods.

****
After my shower I find Alex downstairs on the sofa with pretty little liars paused on the tv.

"I've got some snacks over here, water, coffee and some advil for that headache." He says not bothering to turn around to me.

Sorry but isn't this like husband material?

Im not gonna marry him, get your head out of that hole right now India!

"Can I ask you something?" I ask sliding beside him on the sofa. "Depends." He says and I smile.

"Why do you hate drunk people?" I ask and he sucks in an uncomfortable breath. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I say focusing on the tv.

"No." Alex says and I glance at him confused. "I'll tell you, just don't look at me whilst I tell you." He says and I nod slowly and turn my attention back to the paused tv.

"Lucy isn't my mom." He says and my eyes widen? Plot twist! Jesus. "Well she is. She'll always be my mom in my eyes but biologically, she's not mine. I don't know who my mom is. My dad never told me about her. Just said she was selfish." He says and I nod slowly.

"After my dad and Lucy got married, my grandparents passed away. Then Lucy said my mom tried to stop by and take custody of me a few times. It lead my dad to drink." He says and sighs. "My dads an alcoholic." He adds.

"He eventually got laid off at work and Lucy was the only one paying all the bills, she had a good job. I can't even remember what it was, I don't think she enjoyed it that much but it paid well." He says and I can't stop myself from nervously playing with my hands.

"He hit me a few times. Lucy had to pick up longer shifts so it meant I was with dad a lot. He was angry his life had gotten better and all of a sudden gotten shit all over again. I get why he did it. Hit me." He says and my heart faulters. No matter how upset Alex's dad was, he should never have hit him.

"I never told Lucy. But on my 11th birthday, she came home early. Witnessed the one hell of a back hand my dad gave me and then promised to get me out." He says and I nod even slower just so he knows in listening.

"She put me in after school clubs, brought me to the office with her late at night. Anything to keep me safe. It took a nearly a year till we had everything ready to go. We had saved up enough money and we left." He says.

"We got on the first train and left. Lucy grew up here in Washington, she knew what she was doing. We got our house and she worked so many jobs just to make sure I never went hungry and had a roof over my head." He adds.

"That's why I don't like alcohol, I saw what it did to my dad." He says and I turn to him but he immediately looks away.

All I want to do is look at him. Hold his hand, kiss him. We're so similar but so different.

I feel like he carries it so harshly. He needs to know that it's not acceptable, what his dad did.

I scoot onto his lap and he immediately meets my eyes. "I'm sorry that happened to you. He should never have hit you, no matter how angry he was. You deserve better." I say and wrap my arms around him.

I pull back from the hug and he can barely look at me. I smile and kiss him. He deepens the kiss immediately and places his hands on hips and pulls me into him.

I pull back and raise an eyebrow at him. "Are you gonna give me pity head?" He asks and I laugh. "No." I say bringing his head to my chest.

"Good. Pity head sucks." He sighs against my boob and I stroke the back of his neck.

"Please don't think differently of me." He says and I hold him tighter. "Of course not." I say.

"Is that why you gave in easily?" I ask and his head snaps up. "To stopping drugs, after I told you what happened with my dad." I say and he sighs. "Yeah." He admits.

"Im so sorry." I say and he buries his neck in my head. I'm pretty sure this is like the only moment I would have where Alex would allow me to hold him and feel guilty.

So I enjoy the moment.

Just him and I.

"I am really fucking sorry." I apologise again. "It's fine, you didn't know." He says and places some kisses to my collarbone.

"I'll stop." I say and his head snaps up. "I swear I won't touch it again." I say and he smiles. "So like a compromise?" He asks and I smile. "Yeah." I say and he kisses me.

He lies down and brings me into his chest to watch the tv.

I don't think I've ever felt as content as I do then right now. Lying on the sofa with Alex, watching Pretty Little Liars.

As of this past month my life has become a shit show but this is the happiest I've felt in a long time, and I never thought Alex would be the reason why.

My eyes flutter shut and I move as close to Alex as possible, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm falling for him.

It's a dangerous game. Especially because I know he won't catch me.

He kisses my temple and holds me tighter.

"I'm so happy with you." He whispers and then there's a seed in my mind. A tiny thought.

Maybe, just maybe. He won't let me fall completely.