Daddy Issues

48|Another life

I wake up to Alex furiously shaking me. "Why are you crying?" He asks and I groan. "Go away." I sigh.

"Tell me why you're crying so I can fix it." He says making sure my blanket is firmly around me. "You can't fix it." I say and he scoffs. "Sure I can." He says and I sit up. "You can't." I say sitting up.

"What is it then?" He asks sitting down beside me.

Here we go. Gotta do it. Going to do it.

"We can't do this anymore." I say and he raises an eyebrow. "Do what?" He asks confused. "This. Us." I say pointing my finger and forth between us.

He lets out a big sigh and it takes a secomd and he turns to me. "Why?" He asks and I shrug. Really? That's all I have. A shrug. Oh my god.

"You spoke to Kyle, didn't you?" He asks and I nod. "Well just ignore him. He's chatting shit." Alex says and I groan.

"Alex no." I say and he turns to me. "India. He is lying. Everything that comes out of that guys mouth is a lie. He's just a liar. It's all he does. Don't you know that by now?" He asks and I sigh. That is kinda true.

"I love you. I would never cheat on you." He says and my eyes widen. "Hold up. What?" I ask confused. We aren't on about the same things.

"What? That's what Kyle told you right?" He asks and I shake my head no. "He told me that Jason threated your mom multiple times because of me and thatyou started those rumours." I say and Alex sighs. "The first part is true, second part is false. Why the hell would I start a rumour about myself?" He asks and I sigh.

"Not you Alex. The ones about me and Kyle." I say and he nods slowly. "That still wasn't me though. I'm not a gossip. Plus, I thought that was Olivia." He says and I groan. "I don't know okay." I sigh.

Cheat?

What did he do that Kyle thought he was cheating?

On god I feel sick.

"I didn't cheat on you India." He sighs, almost as though he's reading my mind.

"We weren't even together." He says and I look up at him. "You have to believe me." He says and I raise an eyebrow. "I haven't been with anyone like that since New Year's, when I kissed you." He says and my heart melts, but I should be angry.

"Just tell me what happened." I sigh and he nods.

"It was the night of the fight, with Jason. He set up some girl to take me upstairs and yeah. But we were basically together then, I was loyal, I knew how I felt towards you then. I swear to god nothing happened. We did some weed and that was it." He says and nothing really hits me, other than the weed.

"Weed?" I ask and he closes his eyes and pinches his nose as realisation hits him. "Yeah." He admits. "I just... I'm sorry. It's just I was a dealer then, I never chose to do it after we made that compromise but sometimes I had to do it." He admits and I sigh.

"You still did it Alex." I say and my voice breaks. I cannot cry right now. "I know and I'm sorry." He apologises and holds my hand but I pull it back. "Alex. You came to my house, high. I didn't even know. But you still came here. The one place I wanted to be drug free." I say and he nods slowly. "I know. I'm sorry." He apologises.

"Why make the deal Alex, I never asked you to stop doing drugs. So why make the deal if you weren't going to keep it?" I ask and he sighs.

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "Yeah I get that but why? What's the point?" I ask and he just sighs. "I don't know. India. I'm sorry." He says and I sigh.

I know what I have to do. I'm trying to break up with him to help him.

"I can't do this with you anymore." I say and he stands up. "Seriously?" He asks and I nod.

"I'm sorry. I am. I'm not a dealer anymore it won't even happpen again." He says and I sigh.

"What about your mom?" I ask and he sighs. "You don't need to worry about her. Jason won't touch her." He says and I sigh.

"India, come on." He groans. "I love you." He adds and this time I feel the tears well.

"I'm leaving." I say and he stops. "What?" He asks. "Back to LA. Just to sort through the house and sell it. But I think my mom wants to stay there. We miss it." I say and he sits back down.

"We aren't moving back into that house. But we're moving back." I add and he nods. "We can do long distance." He says and I sigh.

"Long distance never works." I say and he sighs. "But I want to be with you. I'll come to LA." He says and I sigh.

"You can't." I say and he moves closer to me. "No one knows other than Josh, Phoebe and your mom. I was gonna tell everyone at lunch. That's what my mom called me home early about." I say and he nods.

"I don't want you to go." He says and my heart stops. Literally falters. "Alex please don't make this harder than it already is." I say and he nods.

"So no more us, that's really what you want?" He asks and I nod. "I don't think we were ever meant to be like this." I say and he sighs.

"Please stop talking." He says running a hand through his hair.

He makes his way towards the door and stops and turns back to me.

"Can I hold you?" He asks and a tear slips down my cheek. This is my Alex. "One last time." He adds and I nod.

He wraps his arms around me and he holds me as close to him as possible.

Neither of us have to say anything as we basically say our goodbyes.

In Alex's arms I begin to remember everything. Us.

I always knew Alex would break my heart, not the other way around. I feel awful as he buries his head into my shoulder, trying to keep it together whilst holding on to me for dear life.

I really love him.

I do.

But now isn't the right time for us.

Maybe in a few years.

Maybe in another life. No. Definitely in another life. I know in another life there is a India Johnson and Alex Parker madly in love, with no troubles.

That's the only thing that will get me through this.