Nowhere To Be Found

24: The Truth

Ashanti Farrah Belamour

“Is five years enough, Yana?” Dylan pleaded. “Come back to me, please.”

I glared at him and raised a brow. “Come back, huh? And, what? You’re gonna cheat again, and again?”

Napangisi ako saka umiling. “I am done with all your bull shits, Dylan. I am really done.” mariin kong sagot bago siya talikuran.

Three months had passed, and I have been living my life better than before. Mas napadalas din ang pagkikita namin ni Dylan at ang pagsasama naman namin ni Rhysand.

We are still on Palawan, we came back here because they told me that they didn’t enjoy their day here when we get to saw each other.

“I didn't cheat,” He muttered in a serious tone.

“If that wasn't a cheat, then what it is, huh?” I sarcastically smirked after I asked a sarcastic question.

He sighed so fucking heavily! “You have mistaken it. You really don't have an idea, don't you?”

Umawang ang labi ko saka napakunot ang noo. “What do you mean?”

Bumuntong-hininga siya saka umiling. “Let’s never talk about it again,”

Umawang muli ang labi ko at sunod-sunod na napailing. “No. I want to know why...” mahinahon kong sagot.

“Hindi mo magugustuhan ang paliwanag na sasabihin ko,” He answered. “Hinding hindi mo magugustuhan, Yana.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“It will only break your heart.” napangiti ito nang mapait. “It fucking will! That will break me into pieces... again.”

Kumunot ang noo ko saka napailing. “I want to know why, Dylan! Why did you cheat?! Didn't you know what I am going to feel, huh?” I shouted in pain.

Pakiramdam ko ay naubos ang lakas ko sa pagsigaw kong iyon.

Mapait na ngumiti sa akin si Dylan. “Do you really want to know?” pagtatanong nito.

Umiiyak akong napatango. I am hungry for his answers. I have been miserable, my life have been miserable. I almost killed myself.

“My Mom hates your mother. She hates you and your whole family. Did you know why?” mapait siyang ngumiti saka umupo sa buhanginan.

Napatingin ako sa kalangitan nang muling tumulo ang mga luha ko. Hindi ko mapigilan mapahagulgol dahil sa sama ng loob. Pakiramdam ko ay ngayon ko nalang ulit mabubuhos ang sakit at galit na naramdaman ko noon.

“Your mother was my father's ex lover.” Napamaang ako dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon. Hindi ko alam. “Nagkikita sila paminsan-minsan, ngunit dumating sa puntong dumalas ang pagkikita nila at hindi ko alam kung bakit.”

I stared at him, curiously. “And, when my Mom knows about it, she immediately lose her patience and she got mad. To the point, that she closely kill your Mom.”

Agad akong kinilabutan sa sinabi niyang iyon. Umawang-awang ang labi ko, nanginginig ang mga tuhod na napaupo ako sa buhanginan.

“K-kill my Mom...?” Nagugulat akong napatanong.

“After that incident, she hated your Mom for being my father's ex lover. And when you accidentally announced our relationship, she immediately planned for an arranged marriage.”

Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi saka muling tumulo ang mga luha ko. I-It was my fault. That was my fault. “I-I am sorry...”

Mapait siyang napatawa. “She blackmailed me. If I declined the marriage, she might get mad and I might lose everything, including you...”

“You are the only woman that I wanted to marry,” He muttered.”

Agad akong nanginig sa kaba at pagsisisi na nararamdaman ko. I felt guilty.

“But, when you saw me with Ysabelle. I took the chance to break up with you. I broke up with you because I knew that you’ll get through it. You have my trust, Raya.”

Ysabelle is his friend now. A month after the engagement, Ysabelle decided to stop the arranged marriage. Dylan told me that Ysabelle realized that she did wrong. She even tried to reach me out just to apologize.

I couldn't utter a words. Naiwan akong tulala habang pinakikinggan ang mga sinasabi niya. Hindi ko akalaing ang nanay ko ang dahilan ng lahat.

“But, that time was your father's death...” He sighed so heavily. “And I regretted that I left you, when you needed me the most. I am really sorry if I caused you pain and misery.”

Muli akong napahagulgol saka napatungo. Sunod-sunod akong napaluha at agad namang sumabay ang pagdampi ng banayad na hangin sa aking pisngi.

Mapait siyang ngumiti sa akin. “All I did was to protect you, Raya. But, that kind of protection I did was wrong. You became miserable.”

“I am sorry. Alam kong nasaktan ka rin, alam kong hindi mo rin kinaya. Alam ko iyon dahil kilala kita.” mahina at umiiyak kong saad.

Lumipas ang ilang minuto na wala na ulit nagsalita pa sa aming dalawa. Nanatili rin akong tahimik dahil wala akong masabi sa mga sinabi niya.

“Bakit mo ininom iyon, Raya?”

Umawang ang labi ko saka bumuntong-hininga. Hindi ko sinagot ang tanong niya, nanatili lang akong tahimik.

“That wasn't I wanted for you. I wanted to live your life at peace,”

“But that wasn't my heart wants. I am not dead, but something inside of me died that day.”

Mapait siyang napatawa saka umiling at dahan-dahang tumayo. “I guess, it's time. I hope I gave you all of the answers to your unsaid questions.”

Umawang ang labi ko at agad na napatayo. Ngumiti ito nang matamis sa akin. “I hope you all the best in life, Raya. I hope you will get the happy ending you deserve, even if it’s not with me.”

He smiled bitterly. “Maybe until our next meeting, Raya?” Napatawa siya nang bahagya. “I really want to unwind.”

Sa muling pagkakataon ay niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit. Agad na tumulo ang mga luha ko nang marinig ko ang paghagulgol niya sa balikat ko.

Kumirot ang puso ko nang dahil sa sinabi niya, napakasakit.

“Mahirap man sa aking pakawalan ka ay wala akong magagawa dahil may mahal ka ng iba.” Umawang ang labi ko at hindi nakapagsalita.

Nanatili akong nakayuko at hindi nagsasalita. Nakikinig lamang ako sa kaniya hanggang sa isa–isa nang tumulo ang luha ko sa sinabi niya.

“Sana lang ay masaya ka sa desisyon mo, dahil kung hindi, babalik ako at babawiin kita.”

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