Lies and Empty Promises

family

A/N: words: 1708. so uh #woops. i actually kinda teared up writing this and i dont know why. i guess its missing natasha hours. so yeah, enjoy!

 "Sammy, hey, breath." Bucky cooed as Sam recovered from a nightmare, shaking in Bucky's arms. Sam didn't even get to say goodbye. Not to Nat. Not to the Steve he knew. He could never get closure. All he wanted was to them again. Laugh with them again. See Nat smile like she always did. Hear Steve's laugh one more time. If he could see the flash of red and blonde hair walk through the door one more time, maybe he could feel some semblance of closure. Sam held on to Bucky like a lifeline, well, he kind of is one, and cried onto his shoulder. Bucky held Sam steady, and that was all he needed.

"I just- I just wish I got to say g-goodbye, you know?" Sam mumbled against Bucky's shoulder. Bucky nodded, rubbing small circles on Sam's back, then his arm. "I know Sammy. I know you do."

"And we haven't even," Sam sniffed in between his words. "We haven't even had a proper funeral for her. It's almost been a month and nothing." Sam muttered, tears still falling from his eyes, soaking Bucky's shirt. Bucky couldn't believe that. For a group of people that called each other a family, her not getting a funeral doesn't make a lot of sense. "She have any family?" Bucky asked quietly, and didn't know if Sam was gonna answer.

"Yeah. She had a sister. She had parents." Sam knew it was more complicated than that, but he kept it short. Bucky took a deep breath and shook his head. "Do you think they had something? Funeral? Anything?"

Sam sighed, tears slowing. "Maybe. I don't know."

Bucky will. He'll find it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"We're going to Ohio." not the weirdest sentence Sam has woken up to, but its definitely not a normal one. "What?" Sam said, his voice heavy with sleep. He hadn't even opened his eyes yet, and when he tried, he was met with the blinding light of his laptop on Bucky's lap. "We're going to Ohio." Bucky repeated, more matter-of-factly. Sam sighed, finally sitting up.

"May I ask why?" Sam questioned, his vision still a bit blurry. "I found her. Where she is." Sam didn't need to ask who. Nat. He felt tears prickle his eyes. "H-how?" Sam asked, eyes finally adjusting to the plane tickets that just need to be printed out. "Took me all night." Bucky explained, followed by a chuckle. "But I found it."

Sam couldn't help but smile, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Thank you, Buck." Sam didn't miss the red that rimmed his eyes, whether it was from not sleeping or crying Sam didn't know, and he would never ask. Sam could tell that Nat's death hit Bucky hard. Not as much as it had for Sam, but they were all friends, talking in the dead of night in the jet, pretending like the world stopped for a second. They had really connected in the 2 years. Sam laid his head on Bucky's shoulder, staring at the screen. "Anything, my love."

~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Bucky landed a little less than an hour ago, and had finally figured out here they were going. They had passed a few neighbourhoods a long the way, kids out front with Iron Man helmet's, their shields. It made Sam think about the impact he would have if he carried the shield. That would be a lot to deal with. Sam seemed like the type of person who enjoyed social events, attention, but he loathed it. He only did it because it made him feel like he could forget. On the flip side of that, he realized that kids like him, that didn't have someone who looked like them, could finally have a hero with their own skin colour. But he didn't know if he could take all that responsibility.

"We're here, doll." Bucky's voice snapped him from his thoughts, and he found Bucky's eyes, which glistened in tears he refused to shed. Sam could feel tears welling in his eyes and took a deep a breath, squeezing Bucky's hand. "Ready?" Bucky asked, his voice shaking. Sam could only nod, feeling a lump form in his throat. Bucky smiled sadly, and they headed down the path.