Lies and Empty Promises

story

A/N: words: 1668. YALL I AM SO SORRY I PROMISE I AM TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THESE UPDATES HDJDJDHKHDK. anyway, enjoy!

Sam,

This must be a nightmare. A story I can walk out of. This isn't my story. I wanna can rewrite. I wanna erase it, start over. Maybe, a new story. The girl and the guy got a happy ending, can't I? Can't we? Where's my happy ending? When do I get to walk into the sunset, have everything beside me, behind me, beside me. When can I rewrite my nightmare, and make it a dream. A dream with you.

Wish I was yours,

J.B

Bucky sighed, closing his notebook. If only he could actually muster up enough strength to actually talk to Sam, and not just sit alone in his apartment and write love letters like he's a 13 year old with a crush. He used to feel like that, when he left the notes on his pillow, or beside Sam, while he made eggs, cursing at the pan, or the butter, or himself. And he would hear a rustle of paper, a sigh, and maybe a chuckle. Then, a pair of arms would wrap around his waist, a soft kiss pressed to his temple, a comment on the note. And they would smile. And they would be happy. And they would live in a dream. Their happy ending. Watch the sun rise, and the sun set.

Not anymore. Now, they were in a nightmare, miles apart, lost whispers, forgotten touches, and kisses that didn't last long enough. It had been about three weeks since his birthday, and Sam had only texted him once. He deserved that, with how he acted, how he's been acting for the past 4 months. He might- he could apologize. He thinks he's getting there. God, he hopes he is. He really, really hopes he is.

~~~~~~~~~

Sam ended up just ignoring the email Raynor sent. He figured it was to send a message to him. "Your crazy ex is talking about you please help." type of message. But that wasn't what he was focused on right now. Sam has been assigned a mission in Ohio. He figured after it ended, he'd go see Nat. He didn't anticipate seeing a torn up pride flag in the window of the kid he saw with Bucky, months ago. He felt his throat close up, like the earth was getting smaller, maybe it was spinning faster. That's probably why Sam was so dizzy. He stood against the fence, trying to steady himself, steady his mind.

Another reason Sam can't take the shield. There's millions of reasons why, but seeing a torn up pride flag in a kids window is all he needs to know. If he held the shield, there'd be outrage, people would... god knows what they'd do. But Sam doesn't want to deal with it, he knows that. God, he needs to get that damn thing out of his house. He would've done a long time ago, but maybe some part of him was hoping Bucky would come to his senses. That he could wait for Bucky's hand on his shoulder and quiet words of encouragement. But Bucky's not here. So, Sam thinks it's time. The shield has to go. But he could still use a few words of encouragement

~~~~~~~~

Bucky felt himself cut through the air, drifting and flying and falling and... Sam caught him. He felt Sam's sturdy arms around him, and he was safe. So, maybe this wasn't a nightmare. Didn't seem like one. He was safe. He felt Sam around him and that was enough. Sam was here.

Bucky saw black. But he wasn't dead. He was on the ground. But Sam was gone. He felt a gun in his hand. A gasp escaped his lips. Where was Sam? Bucky didn't see him. Didn't hear him. Didn't feel him. "Sam!" Bucky cried out, desperate. He felt like the room was spinning, well, it probably was.

He saw him. With a bullet in his heart.

"Sam." Bucky breathed out, rushing towards him. Bucky killed Sam. Bucky killed Sam's heart.