Lies and Empty Promises

fine

A/N: words: 1654. yall i am so sorry for this trash updates i thank you if youve stuck around bc like hhfdjf i hate how far apart they are BC LIKE I ALREADY HAVE THE CHAPTERS WRITTEN IM JUST LAZY. anyway. enjoy!

January 5

Sam: hey buck.

Seen

January 14

Sam: just wanted to make sure you were alright

Seen

January 16

Sam: text me back when you can

Seen

January 24

Sam: just checking in again, text me back

Seen

February 6

Sam: bucky, please

Seen

February 22

Sam: i know you're seeing these, please talk to me. I hate to say it, but i miss you

Delivered now

Sam was fully prepared to throw his phone at the wall. He almost did. But he stopped himself.

Sam: i know you're seeing these, please talk to me. I hate to say it, but i miss you

Seen

Seen. Of course Bucky wouldn't respond. He's being a coward, he's scared of the dumb thing that he'll say. Sam knows full well that is what's going on. Bucky hasn't responded before, this is nothing new, but before it was... because life was moving faster than it had for a long time. And now... now the dust has settled. Now, the world stopped moving, and it was horrible. Sam tried to make himself busy with USAF and the restaurant, but his life was slowing down. One day, he'll appreciate the peace, but now... now he just wanted to know Bucky was okay. Bucky would lie, and that'd be that. But at least Sam would know that Bucky was there. Maybe he had friends. Sam knew he'd need to go to therapy for his pardon, so he probably had that. Despite all these things, maybe Bucky wasn't okay. But neither was Sam, so he can't really blame him.

He should stop texting. It's not doing anything. But he just- he can't let Bucky go. No matter how far apart they, no matter how mad he is at him, he still can't let him go. He should, it's unhealthy, but...

How does something that was seemed so set in stone, so real, how does something like that crash and burn? If it really meant something, then it wouldn't have ended so quickly.

~~~~~~~~~

Then why did it end in a fight they both regretted? Unbeknownst to the two, they had the same thought. In Sam's case, he was helping Sarah in the kitchen, still lost in his own world. In Bucky's case, he was walking down to Yori's apartment.

They wanted to see each other so bad, yet, for some reason, they were scared. Maybe they knew it wouldn't end well. Maybe they knew that whatever would happen, they'd be farther apart than before. Maybe this was a safe ground, they weren't talking, they didn't see each other, and nothing got broken. Again.

It's like when there's a crack in glass, you don't use it. In case you damage it further, in case you ruin the plate entirely. But maybe they were already at that point, but so desperately trying to glue it back together, without actually touching the plate. Without taking a step, without pushing away unreasonable fear, they can never fix it fully.