Lies and Empty Promises

wasn't

A/N: words: 1616. i am very sorry for updating late school is very much present in my life at the moment. but yeah, i really like this chapter and i dont really know why aha. anyway, enjoy!

The shield practically mocked him from the corner of the room. The red and blue screamed at him, the obnoxious colours scolded him for what he did, or what he didn't do, for that matter. He was giving the shield away, he'd come this far, he was giving it away. Sam knew this was the right thing to do, he knew that, there was no doubt in his mind about giving the shield away. But there was some nagging feeling in his chest that something was wrong.

Well, something was wrong, but it wasn't the shield. Sam didn't know exactly what it was, but the feeling was familiar, the feeling was... something like loneliness, maybe. Doesn't matter right now, anyway, because he promised Sarah he'd help down at the restaurant, so that's where he's going.

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"He text you back yet?" Sarah asked casually as she wiped down the counter. Sam sighed and leaned back against the counter. "No." he answered, shaking his head. Sarah offered him a sympathetic smile. "It's been, what, three weeks? He'll come around, lover boy." Sam chuckled, nodding his head. "I hope so." Does he? Does he hope so? He doesn't really want to see Bucky, he just wants a small: Hey, I'm fine, don't worry about me.

Sam can know it's a lie, and so can Bucky. Because it would be the biggest lie they've ever told. It's a lie they're quite familiar with, just not telling each other the lie. But if Sam just had some type of reassurance, even if he knew Bucky was lying just to get Sam off his back, he would take it. But, it doesn't look like he'll get that for a long time.

Sam must've zoned out, because when he looks around, he notices that he's the only one in the restaurant. Sarah must've slipped out the door, so quietly it didn't even break Sam's trance. The suns starting to set now, so Sam makes his way make to the house, shaking out of the thoughts of Bucky.

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"Sam! Sam!" Riley. Riley's falling, Riley's not stopping. Neither is Sam. But he's too late. Riley hits the ground. Sam was too late.

"You were too late." Bucky said from behind him. No, no he wasn't. There was nothing he could do. Bucky was lying. Bucky lied to Sam before, he was lying again. "No I wasn't, there was nothing I could've done." Sam muttered, and he felt small, he felt so small. He heard Bucky's dry chuckle, and he looked into the eyes that he hasn't seen in a month, and they weren't the same. They were brimmed red, they looked tired, they looked lonely. They didn't look like Bucky's. "Buck, what are you talking about?" Sam heard his words break and fall.

"You didn't get to him. It was you. Thats why he's not here. You killed him." Bucky's words sound too much like Bucky's to be fake. "No, no, you don't believe that. Neither do I." Sam told himself that as much as he was telling Bucky. "You should. Because I do."

That's when Sam woke up. There was sweat dripping down his forehead. He didn't want to believe it. But he couldn't get that image out of his head.

Riley. Riley falling. Bucky. Bucky's eyes. Bucky's words. The way Bucky didn't look like Bucky. The way he did. That's what scared Sam the most. The tears rolling down his cheeks didn't faze him. He barely registered them. What he did register, however, was the fact that as he kept processing the nightmare, it got harder to breathe. And harder. And harder. Until Sam was gasping for breath.

He steadied himself on the bed as he took deep breaths. He closed his eyes tight. Bucky. Bucky staring at him without his usual look. Riley falling. It was Sam's fault. All Sam's fault.

Sam snapped his eyes open, shaking his head. No it wasn't, it wasn't Sam's fault. There was nothing he could do, remember?

It wasn't Sam's fault.