december, the end ✓

four

✶

Been a week, I'm going insane why i woke up here. Again and again. Same routine, same morning, and same person i see.

I thought to escape here twice but I don't think
i have a chance to. there's no way out here but a ladder outside the balcony. Only landrew knows how to use it.

That sucks.

Why would i even try to find an exit, I don't know even why I'm here at the first place.

"Are you bored?" Landrew asked, its midnight and I'm trying to sleep yet I couldn't.

"As always, i am."

"Why do you sleep at the floor? Come over here, you'll get cold."

I offered him to come over to the single bed i use to sleep every night and then. It was hard as rock, I felt like a stick whenever i wake up in the morning.

"I'm okay here," Landrew replied, it was obvious he's not. His feet were trembling as if it wasn't cold in the room. There were so much wind coming from the window. The curtain barely calm itself from pushing forward.

"If you don't, you'll gonna look like a dead rat there. shaking and cause of death is too much cold but still want to endure it."

"C'mon, Drew."

I command, he stood up straightway to my bed. It's not like I'm a visitor here with no respect to the real owner.

"Do you mind?"

"No." I simply respond. Untucking some of the thin blanket that was covering my whole body, i gave him just a piece of it.

"Thanks." He says, now we share the both bed and blanket. I just stare out of nowhere. Just a small cabinet with a moon reflection on it.

Nothing to expect more, if feels pleasing that i only hear sounds of wind and bird chirping in the morning. I felt healing but it was more different than that.

I'm used to everyday where i only speak seven to nine sentences and then it's already dark outside. I miss the view of nature.

But i want to keep myself here. Landrew seems not boring. He's an active person yet grouchy, he likes going out on balcony and think why is he stuck here with someone he doesn't even know.

From his slight tan skin, his thin waist, the ideal height in every male. The attractiveness in his voice and laugh. From the way he only use black and white in everyday. Still fits him perfectly. I could feel like melting.

All i do is to just make a paragraph about him, and always him.

So now, i never want to think if someday..

I'll lose him like i did to myself.