"Your room's a mess," Ranboo commented as he leaned on the wall.
"It's not a mess. I know where everything is."
"Alright. Where's your... uh... grade school... notebook?"
"In the garbage can in Florida somewhere. Probably dead by now. Or a newspaper."
"Where's your phone?"
You looked around your desk. "Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Where the fuck did I put my phone...AHA! Here it is."
"Alright. Now, where's the Ranboo merch form thing you procrastinated on signing."
"Fuck. It's somewhere in my room. Or it's still at Tubbo's place..."
"No, you left it on my desk when you came by yesterday to make me do chores. It's still not signed."
"Oh shit. Oops."
"You're mom told me to get you to clean your room by the way. Smh, so messy."
You threw a blanket over Ranboo.
Ranboo stood still and started making ghost sounds. "OOOOHHHH. I COME TO HAUNT YOU. Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something nice to eat. Is that how it goes? I forgot the line."
"I think that's how it is. Now excuse me, where do you think you're going when you're gonna be my DIY'ed coat rack."
"Wake me up when it's all over. Cleaning your room I mean. Not me standing still and being a coat rack."
"You're not a coat rack."
"You just said I was."
"You didn't let me finish. You're a...mandatory human rack."
"At least I'm mandatory now. Finally, I'm appreciated."
"Yeah, yeah. Catch."
"AHHHHHHH. STOP THROWING YOUR MILLION-POUND PILLOWS AT ME!"
"They shouldn't be heavy. Oh, right. I shoved some books inside it. There we go, problem solved."
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Everything."
*Time skip*
"Wow, even an old man's reflexes are better than yours," you told Ranboo.
"What do you mean?"
"That car," you pointed to the one in the other lane, "has an old man as a driver. And he was next to us before the light turned green."
"No way," Ranboo said as he accelerated. "What. Actually?"
The car beside you drove faster. Ranboo followed the guy's actions, before eventually slowing down to the speed limit due to safety and an incoming speed trap.
"I swear, that guy, is speeding. It has nothing to do with my reflexes. My reflexes are amazing."
a/n: based on true convo as well
*Time skip*
"Happy birthday to no one, cha cha cha, happy birthday to no one, cha cha cha, happy birthday to no one, cha cha cha, happy birthday to you," Ranboo sang.
"You have the height of the Empire State Building, yet the maturity of a toddler."
"Why am I always a toddler? Don't I age?"
"Yeah sure, when you mature. And in spirit, you stay the same. And you have the height of a 90-year-old man who hasn't stopped growing."
"Whatever. Anyway, I need to celebrate the birthday of some random person out there in the world. So if you excuse me, ah-hem, we regret to inform you, but you are now old."
"What if they are like 1 and just turned 2."
"The average human lifespan is like... eighty? So two is still old."
*Time skip*
"I just really wanna grief the server right now. I'm bored."
"Dream will kill you."
"So what? I'll make some sort of border that homeless Teletubbies can't get through."
Ranboo snorted, nearly snorting out the water in his mouth. "He specifically yelled at me to promise you wouldn't."
"Did he pay you to babysit me?"
"No..."
"Good. Imma grief the server now."
"What you gonna grief?"
"I dunno. I'll know when I see it."
*Time skip*
"How do your parents not care about this?"
"Huh?"
"You have a mess here, and the spot the webcam will show is legit sparkling clean, while here, it's...a whole community dumpster."
"Chat, I swear, I don't do that..."
"Ranboo don't lie. I have eyes."
"Stop exposing me! And you could be blind and hallucinating right now. It's all a dream. You could have...I dunno...hypnotized yourself?"
"Lies. You're the one who requires glasses 428/7."
"SUNGLASSES. Two different things."
"Still glasses and you didn't deny the fact you need glasses."
"I don't know about you, but the sun is my worst enemy so I must protect my eyes."
"You don't even go out."
"Shut up," Ranboo whined.
"And if that's the case, just pour 2 gallons of sunscreen over your head."
"That's expensive."
"You got like a $100,000 donation once."
"Once."
"Once too much."
"Just - just shut up."
You smiled. "How about no. Jelly beans are shiny because they are coated with shellac, which is made from insect poop. Not just jelly beans, things like Hershey's too. A London man holds the record for...I think the most amount of maggots moved by mouth in an hour."
"I need to tell the last one to Tommy."
"Fine. Umm...what else. I need to gross some more people. Oh, umm...you sleep with around 1.5 million dust mites every night. So...do your laundry folks. When you die, the bacteria in your gut used for assistance indigestion will digest you when you die. So don't die."
"Ah yes, the best motivation to live."
"Eye crust contains urine. Ancient Egyptians used crocodile feces as birth control. An intact human body could fetch around $250,000 on the Black Market. But if you sell all your organs on the Black Market, if you could sell all, you could get 45 million for that."
"Why do you know this?"
"I am smart thats why. Anyways... I once grew mold accidentally for science fair and I learned that day that mold can grow as spikes."
"I will just ignore you now."
"The cold never bothered me anyway."
Ranboo facepalmed in annoyance. You smiled, watching Ranboo in his annoyed-at-you arc. The smile maybe could be justified, but that small butterfly feeling in your stomach that reappeared once more?
FINALLY I FREE
YES
NOW I MUST DO THIS TO BOEKTTO
SADNESS
YOU ARE READING
A Little Spark...
FanfictionEDITED AND COMPLETE FOR NOW You were walking in your neighborhood when you suddenly find something that would bring much more than kindness. (Platonic, I don't want to sexualize minors) If read anywhere other than Wattpad, it is stolen.
