He hates me NOT

XXVII. Repeated Questions

a/n: Since last week, I still have this throbbing headache.

Beam and Forth sat beside each other inside the train without much talking. Beam has purchased a ticket online and that is one problem solved, what he is worrying about is what to do after getting off the train. It was only a 2 hour drive and he only had that long to think of a plan. 

"I'm sorry." Forth said, pulling Beam away from his thoughts.

"...but I'm not really sorry." He added.

Beam peered at Forth, looking for any hint of what to answer with that apology. Forth's face shows that he is serious, he still have the calmness he had earlier on the platform like he really isn't sorry. It made him realized that Forth must have intended for that to happen.

"You really aren't sorry." Beam mumbled. 

"4." 

"What?" Beam asked, confused.

"4 times. That's how many times you've ran away from me." Forth voiced out.

Beam looked down at his lap, ashamed that Forth had counted all this time. He's been caught up with his own self that he had not thought of the implications of his actions. Beam has been really insensitive to his surroundings, he thought that he is protecting himself but what he's doing is actually hurting the man who cares about him.

"I don't really want to corner you but when you appeared in front of me back in the station, I know I have to do something." Forth revealed.

"You've read my notes?" He asked.

Beam blushed, remembering every words written in the journal. "Ye...yes." He croaked out.

"So you understood what I feel towards you?"

Beam did not response right away but Forth waited for his response. He knows exactly what Forth meant in every words he wrote, but Beam is a bundle full of insecurities and uncertainties. Aside from Phana and Kit, he always had a towering sense of self that he is used to hide from other people.

"Yeah..." Beam finally said, directing his look outside the window. "...but I need to confirm it." 

Forth sighed and Beam stiffened at that.

"I...I know that it must took all your guts to write those notes...and I really want to believe them." Beam blurted it hastily, "but...I've been always having a hard time accepting sincere words from others." He continued, rubbing the sting away from his eyes.

Blinking rapidly, Beam sniffed. "I'm always under constant doubts about myself...and it's hard to get rid of." 

Beam felt Forth's hand laced with his hand. He looked down at their joined hand with his mouth slightly hanging, he trailed his eyes towards Forth's face. He still wears his serious face but his eyes are more gentle.

"I. Am. In. Love. With. You. Beam." Forth enunciated.

"I will say it to you every time you ask." Forth said.

Forth brought their clasped hands to his lips, giving Beam's a peck. A lone tear drop from Beam's eye and his lips are trembling. Overwhelmed with how earnest Forth can be, and he could not believe it so easily.

"What if you'll get tired?" He whimpered.

"You've ran away from me 4 times now and there is no way I'm letting you for the 5th time." Forth denied. "I dont want to risk anything so I'll keep saying it until you're the one tired of it."

"I'm sorry...but I'm selfish and a mess." Beam sniffed again.

He brush Beam's watery eyes, he smiles and continue. "But you were also the most kindhearted person I know. We have are own flaws and you are still beautiful, I think you are perfect."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Beam said softly.

"I'm stubborn, I'll make sure I'm the only one you are not gonna get rid of. I'll be with you even when you start doubting." Forth promised.

"Are...you okay with me?" Beam asked just to make it sure.

Forth faced his whole body towards Beam, gently grabbing Beam's face with both of his hands. 

"Yes...and are you okay with me?" Forth also queried.

"More than okay..." Beam whispered enough just for Forth to hear it.

They settled on their seats again but this time there are no unresolved strain between them. With their hands still tightly clasped together, Beam is slowly tearing down his walls around Forth. He is making his resolve to trust Forth this time, he will not be hesitant in accepting any affection directed towards him.

But a little wariness couldn't hurt anyone. "Are you sure?" Beam asked again. 

"Yes!" Forth chuckled.

"Really?"

"Yes, and if you think it would change anything just because you keep asking, then you are wrong." Forth replied, nudging Beam's knees with his.

"What are we now?" Beam questioned, not sure where they stand now.

"I want to date you but I want to court you first because you deserve it." Forth said.

Beam's cheeks flushed pink, they were almost red just like his lips. Forth wants to kiss it but he stopped himself because he knew Beam is still getting around his feelings. He smiled at Beam's reaction.

"I'll court you until you give me all the digits of your phone number." He joked.

"Oh god!!" Beam groaned, bringing his hand towards his face while not taking his other hand from Forth's grasp. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be." Forth softly said, "It made an opportunity for me to look for you."

 "I could give you my number right now." Beam offered, not wanting to trouble Forth again.

"No." He strongly refused, "...but you could give me the 5th number of you cell."

Beam bit his lips, trying to stop himself from smiling to wide. He's happy, so happy with his decision to look after Forth. He gave Forth his number, erasing all thoughts of what the future might hold for the both of them. He decided to just let Forth control the tides.

And as soon after he forgot his worries, another came just after he got off from the train.

"Oh who's this handsome child you brought home, Por?" Forth's mother instantly asked when she saw Beam hiding behind Forth.

"The person I'm going to introduce in the future as my boyfriend." Forth said without dropping any beat.

to be continued:

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A/N: Please excuse all the grammar and typo errors I made in this fic.

a/n: 

Is the story developing slowly? I've been writing this for long that there are details that I've already forgotten. And also thank you for leaving your comments on the previous chapter, I love that you were all taking tabs of this fic.

"There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it's called fanfiction"

-Joss Whedon