He hates me NOT

XX. So this is heartache

a/n: Im listening to Heartache by One Ok Rock as I start writing this.

Beam's P.O.V.

The longer I stay here at the pavilion, the harder it is to hold the sting in my eyes. I got up and left without telling anyone, the atmosphere is getting heavy for me to handle. I didn't want to say my goodnight when there's a chance that I wont hold out in the middle of it.

The feeling from what happened during that particular moon gathering returned again. I hate this feeling of something not meant to be, that feeling of being played at. I let out a breath as I reach the beachfront, the salty breeze from the sea helping me calm down the nerves that built up.

"I don't like this." I whispered softly, "I don't like this at all"

"Beam!!"

I flinched hearing I loud yell of my name. I turned around only to see Forth running towards me, an emotion of dread washed over me as I realized that he has found me. The stinging in my eyes returned and I instantly felt a wet trail in my left cheek.

I touched my cheeks. Am I crying? I asked myself.

What's this? Is it because I drank so many cans of beer? Am I really that drunk that I haven't realized that I was already crying? 

Forth stopped in front me and I still could not stop. 

Ah...it's because of Forth that I am crying.

 I'm crying because I was made to realized again that my feelings is just a big joke.

Forth grabbed my shoulders and I instinctively curled inwardly, trying to avoid his touch.

"Why?" he asked.

I took a step away from him, leaving a phantom burn in places where he grabbed me earlier.

"Did I do something?" He asked again, "Does it hurt somewhere?"

I looked down, willing all pain away. "Why are you here?" I asked.

"You suddenly left...and I found you crying." Forth said like it's a torture for him.

"You shouldn't have followed me. It doesn't concern you!" 

"It concerns me the moment I saw you cry, Beam!" Forth took a step towards me again.

"You cried because I did something, right? Tell me what I did, Beam." He pleaded.

"Why are you assuming it's you? You're not the only person there." I sniffed, wiping the the stray tear still threatening to fall.

"Please...Beam, I know it's me." He tried again.

He knows it's him but why does he torment me like this? He should have turned a blind eye when he saw me. I clutched my chest because thinking about the past makes breathing harder and I don't want to be burden by it anymore.

I gritted my teeth, "WHY DO YOU ASSUME IT'S YOU?!! WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?!!" I screamed at him as I try my best pushing him away from me.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST IGNORE ME AGAIN?!! YOU DID IT ONCE, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO IT AGAIN?!!" I sobbed, repeatedly pushing him.

"I like you..."

•••

Moon After Party 3 years ago

"I like you..." 

Forth gulped as he waits for Beam's reaction. They were currently sitting side-by-side at the curb outside the club that the engineering squad choose. Their friends are still inside, partying like they won even though they lose.