Lucissa one-shots

Drowned

Autumn of 1997, Lucius Malfoy's pov

If someone told me five years ago that I would go to Azkaban and would sink, I would laugh at their face. Me? The head of the Malfoy family? But here I am, sitting on my bed, in a house that wasn't mine anymore. I made many mistakes in my life. I couldn't look in the eyes of my wife and son, the people I loved the most. Since I was back from Azkaban, I wasn't the same anymore. My father tutored me when I was young and the Lord used many times the cruciatus curse on me, but it was never like what I witnessed in Azkaban. That was physical and mental, and the thought that Draco and Narcissa were punished because of me was even worse. I can remember the day I hit her. She looked painfully at me, it happened twice, I can't handle my anger sometimes. It is not an excuse, I understand that. Narcissa forgave me and I never did it again. But I wish I could say the same about Draco. I never hit him hard, or painfully, but still. When did I tell him that I loved him? When did I tell him that I am proud of him? I just looked disgusted at him. Of course, I was not always like that. It began when he started with Hogwarts. I wanted to make a Malfoy from him, to be strict with him. But I forgot that he was just a child like Narcissa constantly said. I thought about that time when Draco had his first Quidditch match. He was happy that I came to watch him, and made time for him, which rarely happened. But when he fell from his broom, I looked angry at him. How did I know that he had to be taken to the hospital? I thought that he was acting out like he always did. I couldn't take that back and I couldn't say sorry. And now he wasn't a child anymore. Because of me, he was a Death Eater now. His happy face, that smile wasn't there anymore. Not that I was the same. My pride was gone. I had no job anymore, no wand, my son didn't want to talk to me and I was a joke for the other Death Eaters. That bitch of a sister-in-law was worse than normal. The fact that she still lived here was irritating me. I don't know if I have to be happy that I was out of Azkaban. The Lord was in such anger, he was furious. I looked at the picture of us on Narcissa's makeup table. Narcissa and I were possing as every pureblood did, but Draco, like a seven-year-old boy, jumped when the picture was taken, so it was a chaotic picture. We would never hang this in the living room, but here it stands lovely. How could things turn differently so much? If only I could back. If only I could back, I would... What would I do if I could back? Never join the Death Eaters? Be a better father to Draco? Don't ruin Narcissa's life? I don't know and even if I knew, what would change? Everything would stay the same. I turned my head from the picture and saw now my mirror reflection. Narcissa was right, I had to shave. Narcissa walked into the bedroom to the bathroom, replacing stuff and grabbing her makeup bag. "The dinner is almost ready, come downstairs." She grabbed lipstick and put the makeup bag on the nightstand. She walked now towards me. She sat in the bed, and her beautiful soft hand touched my face. I looked at her red painted nails. "Please, I can't stand to see you like this. What do you need from me to make it better?" She whispered. I shook my head. "It's alright, but let me know if there is something. And now come to the dinner, for Draco." Before she leaves, she kissed my lips. Then she walked away. I guess I had no choice.

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