Destiny

一

"Finally," I exclaimed, standing up and wiping the sweat from my forehead. "I didn't know it would be so heavy." Clapping my hands to rid them of dust, I glanced at the large drum before me—the drum my father had asked me to take out and clean.
As I surveyed my surroundings, I noticed my hanbok was now covered in dust. With quick, sweeping motions, I patted the dust from my clothes. Though my efforts were somewhat effective, my hanbok was far from clean, still marred by patches of dust. "Great, another task added to the list," I sighed, feeling the weight of the day's labor settling into my bones.I crouched down on the ground, taking a piece of cloth and some water, damping it, and diligently cleaning the drum. "Bina!" I heard my name being called and turned around. As I expected, it was my friend, Kim Eunbi."Eunbi!" I placed the towel back in the container of water and wiped my hands on my hanbok. "Have you heard about it?" she panted. "About what?" I looked at her, perplexed. "You don't know?" she asked, incredulous."About what?" My patience was wearing thin. I had always been ill-tempered, disliking the dance of words that circled around the point. I wanted everything as straightforward as possible."Your marriage," she blurted out, causing me to reel in shock."M-my...marriage?" I stuttered. "But I don't have a partner I'm seeing..." My gaze fell to the ground at the mention of 'partner.' Did I mention that I'm also the shy type? Marriages, partners, husbands—these words always made me blush."Do you think society will allow the love marriage you're dreaming about?" she sighed. "Bina, we are not rich merchants or landowners or aristocrats. Our freedoms are limited, mere illusions in certain matters." She shook her head, her eyes filled with disappointment at the injustices of our society. "I always wished I had been born into royalty or a wealthy family. I'm constantly worried about my parents, always burdened by taxes imposed arbitrarily." Her eyes glistened with tears, a poignant reflection of her family's struggles. They were not well-to-do, often ensnared in debt. She would cut patches from discarded clothes of the wealthy to make her own garments more presentable, sometimes even having to take them home."But I wanted to—" She cut me off. "Bina, love marriage is something society doesn't allow. Your parents... They'll always be mocked, calling you a characterless daughter.""Just because I married someone I love rather than marrying an unknown person?" I scoffed."I know what you think, but society doesn't work like that, Bina. Socie—"I interrupted her. "Who cares about society then?""Well, everyone does! And so do your parents." She scolded me.I sighed as silence settled between us. "Who's the guy?" I asked.She shook her head. "I don't know. My father was talking about it with my mother, and when I heard the word 'marriage,' I came straight to you." She proclaimed.I nodded. "Eunbi." She looked at me. "Please, can you help me take this drum home?" I asked, pointing to the drum, and she nodded."And... here we go." I placed the drum in my front yard as she clapped the dust off her hands. "I'll talk to my parents about the marriage and tell you about it. Okay?" I gave her a sad smile, and she nodded."Bina, my child, you are finally home!" My mother came running toward me, cupping my face in her hands. "Tch... Your skin looks dry and darker these days..." She examined my face with pursed lips, worried. "Mother, what's wrong with having dark skin?" I sighed as she shook her head."Your so-called 'liberal' thoughts won't go with society, Bina." She looked at me. "Where's Father?""Oh yes... He had something important to tell you. He's in the working field." She headed to the kitchen."I'm going to meet him!" I yelled to inform her as I slipped my feet into my slippers and ran towards my father's working field. After reaching the field, I finally found my father."Father!" I shouted, gaining his and the other workers' attention. He smiled at his co-workers, probably signaling that he'd take some time off. He approached me."You had something to tell me?" I asked."Yeah, come here." He led me to the edge of the raised slopes of mud. "We fixed your marriage," he said excitedly."B-but..." The only person I feared was my father. I could never argue with him. I never tried. Our society was male-dominated. No matter how liberal I was outside the house, I was still dominated by my father inside it."No buts. They are coming to see you tomorrow. Be sure to look pretty. Tell your mother to apply some turmeric or gram flour mixed with curd on your face. It's looking dull." I slowly nodded."Now, go home. You are now another man's property. You shouldn't roam around so freely. There's no safer place than being in a man's shadow, and there's no more dangerous place than living in a society where men can be monsters. Keep yourself pure for the one you're going to marry." He was serious. I nodded and slowly made my way back home."Mother, I'm home," I said, removing my slippers. I went to the backyard and pulled up a bucket of water from the well. Washing my hands, face, and legs, I drained the excess water on the plants. I went inside and dried my face with a towel. "Did he tell you about it?" My mother came into the room and sat on the ground, placing a plate of tea and rice puffs on the table. I nodded and sat opposite her. Taking a glass of tea, I warmed my cold hands on it."Winter is coming," my mother smiled, looking at the newly grown tangerines in our backyard."Mother," I said, and she looked at me. "Father told me to tell you to apply turmeric—"She cut me off. "I know. He already told me. I kept it in the kitchen, mixed with water. I'll apply it to you in the morning when it is fully fermented." She smiled. "Sleep early today. I'll wake you at dawn. Once you're married, you'll have to wake up early every day." She smiled at me lovingly."Mother, who will look after you when I'm gone?" I asked, saddened."Bina, we were prepared for this. Girls are meant to leave. The place where girls are born is never their home." She smiled at the glass."And a stranger's house is my home?" I asked, rage building inside me. "Mother, am I not too young to marry—"My father's stern voice interrupted. "Stop being so stubborn." He entered the room, yelling, making both me and my mother flinch. He left the house, and my mother followed, pulling out a bucket of water to wash his hands and legs. She handed him a towel. I was fed up with the male domination... He could pull the water, he could wash his hands on his own... Why did my mother have to do everything for him?I sat silently as my father returned, sitting opposite me. My mother served him tea and sat beside me, holding my hands to give me courage."Bina," my father said, and we both looked at him. "The proposal came from a very nice family." He took a sip of tea. "They saw you when you brought me my lunch in the field." He set the glass aside and intertwined his fingers on the table."Are they any of your co-workers?" I asked, gathering my strength. He shook his head."Not co-workers. The landowner. The owner of the land I work on." He grinned at my mother, who returned the smile. "His parents saw you and found you beautiful, attractive, and suitable for their son.""But they are higher in status. Won't it harm their reputation?" I asked."They don't care about reputation. If you're getting the fruit, why count the seeds? Be thankful for what you're getting." He scolded me. "What does their son do? How does he look?" my mother asked."He's tall, serious, and listens well to his parents. He's a socialist who cares about all the villagers. Soon, he'll be the Village Chancellor. Bina's life will be a bed of roses if he agrees to the marriage," my father exclaimed with joy."But what if I don't agree?" I muttered, but my father's ears were sharp."You don't have a choice if they agree." He gritted his teeth, trying to stay calm. I nodded.Time passed, and it was night. I was in the room I shared with my mother, applying the turmeric mixture she had prepared. "Bina," my mother said, sitting beside me and rubbing her knees."How are your joints?" I asked."They don't ache much in summer. Winter is the problem." She smiled sadly."Wait," I said, setting the pot aside and bringing a container with medicine for her joints. Slowly, I applied the paste and massaged her legs. "If you massage daily, it won't hurt as much in winter.""Trust your father," she said softly.I kept quiet."If he says the man is nice, then he must be. If we tie a bond with his boss's son, your father will be in a better position. We'll gain respect in society. He's going to be the Village Chancellor, Bina. You'll live with respect, unlike me. You'll have servants around you. He'll treat you like a princess." She sighed.

But will I ever get the love and respect I want from my partner?

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