Destiny

十三

I was chopping vegetables as the scene from midnight kept on giving my butterflies.

Flashback to midnight*

I woke up feeling a warmth on my face. I opened my eyes as I was startled to see what was infront of my face. It was Namjoon-ssi's face almost inches away from me. Suppressing my urge to scream, I looked at his face like I've never ever before. His dragon eyes closed, puffy, red. Did he cry? Was it because of me? His hair scattered all over his head, with my firm hands I fixed his hairs but to no use since it scattered again with a blow of wind. His plump lips, his slightly gaped mouth. He was looking like an angel sleeping just infront of me.

After I was done admiring him for an hour or so, and to protect him from my evil eyes. I got up as I saw a warm quilt over me, I smiled looking at Namjoon-ssi while holding the quilt in my hands hugging it. It was Namjoon-ssi's quilt. While feeling the guilt of shouting at him in the morning and putting him at the wrong, I covered his bare self with the quilt as I saw him shivering a little. This stupid man is all grown up and intelligent but forgot to close the window in a chilly night. I smiled at him as he cuddled under the quilt. I was roaming my eyes throughout the room, it was so clean and well arranged, he did it. Amidst of admiring whatever he did for me, something caught my eyes. It was a plate. I halted my slow steps towards the plate and sat down slowly. I opened the tray only to find alot of delicacies on it. Did he cook them for me? I hope my kitchen is fine and is under good condition. Am I already dead? Because Namjoon-ssi is behaving all caring all of the sudden and now this, I'm surprised that the house didn't caught on fire. I giggled. Underneath the plate I found a note saying, "I'm sorry." I placed the note close to my heart as with a silent sob escaped a year drop of happiness.

Taking the tray with me I went downstairs, to see if he have eaten and to my relief he did. I guess he came home early yesterday. I heated the food as I sat down to eat.

Back to the present*

I was humming some tune while smiling and imagining him doing everything he did for me last night. "Good morning." I heard a hoarse voice making me flich as I turned around only to gasp after finding Namjoon-ssi utter close to me. Trying to look everywhere else but him I stuttered some nonsense. "You're up?" Ofcourse he is. "Oh... Yes." He said as he might have felt the gradual increasing tension between us and distanced ourselves. There was an awkward silence in between us when he tried to break it. "What are you cooking today?" His voice showed nervousness. "jjajangmyeon, you like them right? I've heard from Eomma when she was still here." I said. For the first time I was the confident one and he was the nervous one. Silence. "I got the note you left for me yesterday night." I said and kind of blushed. Silence. "Did you forgive me? I promise I will try to show as much as I can for you, I'll try to make you feel needed as much as I can, I will try to be more expressive for you. I will put you in my priority, I'll try my best to balance my work and the time I need to give you. I want to put in efforts in this marriage as well, I don't want to be a burden on you, I-" in the mid session of him rapping I stopped him. "I'm also sorry, I was being overwhelmed as well." "No, you were right. You were saying everything for my own good and in the return I said so many rude things to you, things doesn't go on like that. I even said-" "Uh huh... Its all fine. We both were at faults." "But I-" "No but, no I, no you. Let me prepare food for you, you can go get freshen up." "May I help you?" "NO!" Unintentionally I shouted at him. To cover up my tone, I laughed awkwardly at him. "Sorry, I didn't meant to shout... It's just you... Uhm... How should I state this? Did you get the ladel and pot on fire? It took me alot of time to removed the black burnt stain from the pot and had to throw away the ladel." I smiled at him and again turned my head around to do my chores. "Sorry." He said and after a while he coughed. "Are you okay? I've heard you coughing alot lately." I turned around as I was about to touch him to check his temperature but he stepped back. "I'm fine." He said. "You are always there in hospital, you should atleast visit one of the royal doctors out there." I said but got no reply from him. "I'll go get freshen up." He said as he left. Is he hiding something out there?

"Food is ready." I yelled so that he can hear me from wherever he is. Getting no reply from him I repeated my words. As I was serving for him, my eyes were all around the house to see if he is coming or not. Waiting for a few or several minutes for him I got impatient and stood up to look after him. "Namjoo-" I was about to yell his name but was cut off by his sudden appearance. I bumped in him. "Namjoon-ssi I was-" I looked at him to see the waterdrops dripping from his hair as his fingers were resting in his hair. Our eyes were linked for a long but no one shared to look away neither me, neither him. I was so mesmerized by his dragon eyes that I forgot that my hands were on his chest and there were no gaps in between us now. Coming back to my senses I looked away, trying to go back when Namjoon-ssi held me with his strong grip, making me look at him and making my hear skip a beat or two. "I-" I tried to mumble. "Shh" I saw him leaning in as I closed my eyes tightly, his hands travelled from his hair and my face to my waist real quick as our gap lessened even more, but before I could feel anything apart from my heartbeats I heard his soft vouce in my ears. "Call me Namjoon from now on." He said as I felt his warmth moving away from me. How much I wanted him to not to move. I was standing there dumbfounded. Looking at way he was going. What were you even thinking. I said to myself as I facepalmed.

"I may leave now, thank you for the food." He said as he bowed down. I bowed in response as well. "Please look after your self Nam-" I was cut off by him looking at me cautiously. "Joon." He gave me a proud smile as he ruffled my hair with his hand and nodded, "I'll, take care hmm?" He said and left, giving me thousands of butterflies.

Namjoon's POV*

I was walking down the lane as I felt butterflies remembering the small, everlasting moment in between us. I would have let our lips interlocked but... I don't want you to get contaminated. I want you to live as much as you can. So that you can be happy and being loved. If not by me, then by someone else. All you deserve is all the happiness of the world.