Supernatural Oneshots

Happier than Ever - Sam version

TW: suicide mentions, abuse mentions (nothing is explicitly said but song lyrics and one mention of the word abuse), Dean being a complete douche.

I wish I could explain it...

"You don't have to explain it," Cas says to me with his hand on my shoulder.

"Cas he is more interested in this new bitch, Eileen than me!" I exclaim as I turn around to look at him. 

I sigh and drop my shoulders, "I need to talk to him." 

Cas nods and follows me inside. 

"Sam Winchester! We need to talk!" I shout as I storm into the bunker.

"What?" Sam questions as he looks at me with a book in his hand.

"We're done."

"What?!"

"You called me, drunk, while driving home Sam!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Sam! You promised not to do it, you promised to not only avoid getting drunk but not drive while drunk! You know better."

Sam has been eye goggling this new girl he met, Eileen, which caused him to drink home drunk cause he kissed her while still with me so naturally he got drunk and well, had no option but to come home.

"All because you kissed that new side piece of yours! You love her more than me, Sam," I say and drop to my knees, my heart aching and I feel Cas put a hand on my shoulder as I take a few breaths to try and keep my composure as best I can.

"I didn't mean to kiss her y/n," Sam tries to explain. 

I stand up and get in his face, "I don't care, you made the choice, drunk or not."

Sam takes a step back and falls into the chair behind him.

"You only listen to your fucking friends Sam! You never listen to me and go off and kiss some chick and probably fuck her all because I can't get wet enough for you! All because I'm too boring for you so you listen to Dean and go out and cheat on me!" I shout.

I put a finger on Sam's chest and push him further into the seat as he looks at me with blank eyes, he doesn't know how to respond to my anger.

"I don't relate to you! How could I relate to you? You're a cheating demon blood thirsty son of a bitch who tries to save everyone he sees, even if it means dying for the sake of humanity! You'd rather let Lucifer into your head than think about whether you can save us another way!"

I throw a punch at Sam's face. Sam cusps his cheek and winces, he's in pain. It pisses me off more that he isn't apologising and isn't hurt for any of what he's done or the fact that I'm ending it.

I lift my arm to swing at Sam again and Cas grabs my arm tightly, stopping me from doing it. I turn around and go to hit Cas and he grabs my other arm and pulls me into him and holds me against him tightly as he pulls me away from Sam. Dean enters the room and sees Sam bleeding from his nose and rushes to his aid, not realising the situation.

"I never talked shit about you nor told anyone anything bad about you Sam! And yet you still did this! You put me in a spot where I had to decide if I saved you or my sister!"

Cas's grip on me tightens as he can feel my anger rise into my chest, and I start to thrash around in his arms and nearly break free as he grabs his own jacket to hold onto me. Dean just stares at me, disbelief glazing his eyes, Sam is staring at me and flinching every time I move, I can't tell if it's regret that he's feeling or not. The last time I was at this point of anger was when I saw my brother get killed before my very eyes by Lucifer. It took both boys to hold me down from killing Lucifer right there and then and now this anger is back and Dean knows it, Dean is more scared than Sam at this current moment considering that I've been known to punch anyone near the targeted person.

"You were my everything! But all you did was make me sad!"

I spit at Sam and he wipes it off his face and looks at me, hurt, confused and what could be betrayal. I can see him thinking and I pause to catch my breath debating if it's worth hearing him out, when is it ever worth hearing him out... it's all lies.

Sam goes to open his mouth to explain and I cut him off, "Don't waste my time Sam! I don't wanna hear your excuses!"

Cas readjusts his grip on me as I struggle again.

"Don't try to make me feel bad! I could list all the times you showed up on time, but, you never did, you couldn't be bothered to stop researching to go on a date with me, but you'd happily go out to a bar with a girl you barely know, Eileen, what's so special about her?! You left me at the restaurant all alone, wondering where I went wrong, why I wasn't good enough for my own fucking boyfriend, I hated myself Sam and still do, every time you ignored me, every time you didn't show up, every time you told me to suck up my own damn emotions when you could express yours made me wanna die Sam, you made me wanna kill myself, you happy now?"

I start crying now and fall to the floor, Cas following suit. Dean looks at Sam shocked that he could do that to his girlfriend, Dean backs away from Sam a little bit and Sam looks at Dean confused as to why his brother is leaving his side as tears fall down Sam's cheek as he realises that he made me feel that way.

"You never paid any mind to my feelings now or friends outside of you guys! You ruined everything good! You made all of my success and moments your own! You always said you were misunderstood, you aren't misunderstood Sam, you're a psycho!"

I sob and catch my breath as Cas rubs a hand on my back. Sam shoots a look of betrayal at Dean as he sees that he's coming over to comfort me, Sam expected Dean to side with him obviously, he always does. Sam just thinks that his big brother will always be there for him no matter what happens and no matter who says what lies or truths about him.

"You ruined my life! Just fucking leave us alone!" I take a deep breath in and shout at Sam with all of my energy, "GET OUT!"

I point towards the door and Sam nods and grabs a bag of his stuff and leaves the bunker.

Cas has seen the shit that Sam has been doing to me and he's been siding with me for months. Two years of a relationship down the drain because of the abuse he put me through. I finally snapped and Dean and Cas saw it coming.

Dean comes over and joins the hug, both boys on either side of me. Cas helps me up and carries me to Dean's room where Dean puts a t-shirt of his for me to sleep in on his bed and gives me some water and food.

I hug the boys tightly before they leave.

"Dean?" I whisper.

Dean turns around and looks at me with concerned eyes, "yes y/n?"

"I'm sorry it happened but thank you," I whisper as best I can.

"It's okay, it had to happen."

I give Dean a smile as he leaves me to sleep and cry.

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