Us ○ Jasper Hale 1

Growing Time

"What is it Xanthia?" Carlisle asks as I look everyone over at the dining room table. I've called a family meeting. I take a deep breath and force a smile.

"I think..." I trail off, my thoughts in scrambles, mostly to prevent Edward from beating me to the punch line.

"I think I need some time." I slump, looking up at everyone with a serious gaze, I noticed Jasper become ridged and everyone else looks completely shocked and at a loss for words.

"What do you mean, Xanthia?" Jasper asks and I look to him and then at everyone else.

"You all saw what I'm capable of at the dance studio."

"Honey... We're not afraid of you if that's what you think." Esme assures in a soft motherly tone I hadn't known of until I met her.

"I know... I know." I nod to her and look at my hands, "But I'm afraid of me. And when you're afraid of something you have to control... It doesn't turn out well." I pause and look up at everyone, "Next time something like that happens, one of you will be too close and I'll hurt you, or even kill you." I say, closing my eyes as the sight of them burning invades my mind, "Right now, I am your greatest danger, and I can't handle that." I shake my head no as everyone falls into a sorrowful silence. "Even if you don't think it'll happen, it's the only thing I see, so it'll eventually happen." I mutter.

"I thought you didn't want to be apart from Jasper again." Edward cuts in and I don't look at him to hide my face contorting into sorrow.

"Edward, Xanthia has probably taken this all into consideration." Carlisle speaks for me. "I'm sure we can all understand where Xanthia is coming from, even if we don't agree with it." Carlisle reasons and I compose myself once again before standing up straight and taking a deep breath, looking them all over once again.

"So you're leaven', just like that?" Jasper speaks after minutes of silence, so I look to him but he's staring at the table, so I look away from him again.

"We should give you two a moment." Alice mutters before they all clear the room and I watch as Jasper rises and stands at the window, shoulders square and feet apart with his arms behind his back. He's reverted into his old title of "Major". It's how he protects himself. He will always be military so separating himself like this... he's hurting.

"Jasper... If you think by any means that I love you any less-"

"You didn't come to me." He cuts me off so I stop speaking, "You didn't talk this over with me, and you just made up your mind all by yourself."

"I didn't talk to you about it because I knew you'd try and make me stay."

"Of course I would have! I'm still going to stop you! You are my Mate, Xanthia!" Jasper raises his voice and I look to my hands as he turns to look at me. He's angry, but that's just to cover the hurt, the abandonment.

"You just keep making decisions all by yourself!" He shouts, "You turned early, to protect us, you sent me off with the human, to protect her, and now you're leaving, what, to protect me!?"

"Yes, Jasper! To protect you! Because every second of every day all I can think about it killing you! We'll be kissing and I'll combust! We could be watching TV and I'll burn you! We'll be in school and the next thing you know, it's being blown up! So I'm sorry if you feel inconvenienced!" I shout right back.

"We're mates, Xanthia, does that mean nothing to you!? Nothing at all!?" Jasper shouts at me and I scoff.

"About as much as it means to you right now because you obviously can't get it through your thick skull that everything I do is for you!" I scream.

"You don't think I know what you're going through!? How hard it is to control your power!?"

"Yours doesn't kill people, Jasper!"

"Do you realize how selfish you're being!?"

"Me? What about you!? You keep playing the stupid "Mate" card! You're trying to guilt me into staying here when it scares the shit out of me! How fair is that Jasper!? Why can't you see that I'm terrified of myself!?"

"...Fine. Get out of here." He growls lowly. I look into his eyes and at this point I'm pretty sure he's projected his anger all the way to California. "Leave!" He screams at me and I stumble back a few steps.

"Fine." I nod, "Good riddance." I spit before storming out, racing up to my room and packing a suitcase.

"Thea..." Rosalie's voice trails off as I stuff clothes and my belongings into the suitcase at the speed of light. I'm done in a minute and I'm not going to answer her." Thea you can't leave like this." She pleads.

"Watch me." I growl out.

"Where will you go?" She asks after me.

"Far away from here." I grumble, pushing past everyone and going into the garage, jumping into Jasper's Camaro.

"That's my car!" Jasper shouts, still furious. I tear out of the driveway and speed out of Forks, not once looking in my rear-view mirror.