Mine (HOOD) [COMPLETED]

20; Letting go

Shay's POV

I had my cool! I was calm and collected, I had my emotions under control, but when Tommy called Calum daddy, I just lost it! I have spent years trying to fix my broken heart and forget him, and I was happy with Tommy, just the two of us. I know it's a good thing Calum entered into Tommy's life cause he's his only father, but I do not want him in my life initially. But the way he made me smile, truly smile after a long time, make me laugh and remember all the good times we had, he is just dragging me back into the rabbit hole and I know it in my heart that he will hurt me again, cause he is not capable of a relationship. He could not face commitment, he'll get scared when the relationship is going to the next level. 

But he has been great with Tommy, I admit that and yeah, maybe he is a changed person but I want to move on and live my life with other people, and not jump into the same puddle. I know he has feelings for me and it's only because we had history and it's been awhile we've seen each other and we share Tommy. I regret that I blew up with Tommy in the same room, my son should've not seen me like that. He should see that I'm a strong woman, capable of anything, and be happy for him that he actually has a father now. I wish I could turn back time and handled it better, no excuses. He even has no idea how much pain he put me through! Why did I have to fall in love with that bastard that summer?! 

I walk in Borders, Ruby and the other staff greeted me but I show no response and walk straight into my office and close the door. I put my purse down and go through all the paper work that is on my table. 

I hear a knock at the door, "don't come in", I said. 

But Ruby does what Ruby wants and she entered my office and close the door behind me. 

"Didn't you hear what I say?", I semi-yelled.

"What's wrong? You basically put down everyone's good vibe here", she told me.

"Oh so I'm to blame when everyone's vibe is set down?"

Ruby crosses her arms, "what is the matter? Is Tommy okay?"

I put my palms on the table, "he's fine, he's great actually".

"Then why are you not? You can tell me, Shay". 

I look at her and I know I can trust her, she's a friend of mine. But I can't just tell her that Calum Hood, the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer is Tommy's dad and he's back and I don't think I can handle his rockstar presence. 

I rub my temples, "Tommy's dad is back".

Shay instantly shock with the news and sit on a chair in front of me. 

"He's back? Isn't that great news? Tommy has a father in his life", she said and I awkwardly put on a smile and she seems to guess what the issue really is. 

"But you don't want him back in your life", I nod my head and I have tears in my eyes. 

"Oh babe", she hold my hand across the table. 

"I can't handle his presence, it's like whenever I look at him, everything seems to be right but he left me, Ruby. He left me when I really want him to be there for me, supporting me and be happy with me. It's not easy to forget that the person you love just left because you want to pursue your dream, I feel neglected. I mean, I know I can just move on and act like nothing happen but I'm gonna see him often and listening Tommy calling him daddy is just too much. I'm not ready to have him permananetly in my life when he left at the moment I offered him a permanent spot in my life. But I know Tommy needs both of his parents to be in good terms, I don't want Tommy to see his parents fight and dislike each other. I just need to get over him, but the thing is I don't think I can even though how much I try", Ruby listens to me religiously.