To Deal With It

chapter one {pic of Jay>}

'Ello everyone! This is my newest story that I'll be working on, even though I have a few others I need to work; I just couldn't wait any longer! So please vote and comment when you are finished! 

Enjoy! 

Peace, <3, :) 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

One

Jay pov: 

My name is Jaylyn Caitlin Kinsley. I never have depression, and I can't even the last I shed one tear. I don't wallow in the moment; I move on, blocking out all emotions because they made you weak. They made you vulnerable to the harsh world we live in. I've always been like this since the destruction of a life. My past? Well, your past doesn't matter to me, so why should you know mine? What'd be the point in telling something that you never imagine until you've lived it? But I might as well as tell you my life's story now.

I had only two options in my life after the destruction: become homeless or go to an orphanage.

I started out with the orphanage, but it sucked, really sucked. Everything was terrible and just down right miserable. The plain, colorless uniforms, the constant stream of chores to do, the strict rules; it all just sucked the life out of you slowly and cruelly. There was also the fact I got adopted and returned tons of times, more than 100 times to be exact, though I lost count. Apparently I'm not the perfect child I look like on the outside. After two months of this, I left because I couldn't take it anymore. I ran from the country town I had become grown to even more than I though I would ever.

I found an unnoticeable on the map tiny town that was generally not close to Lubec but within the state, and the town was something else. It was like a ghost city; not known to anyone but those who are here. It had everything you needed. I had arrived at the city with only a duffle bag and in ratty clothes; but I could see the admiration on some of the guys' faces out of the corners of my eyes. Idiots.

I looked around for somewhere, anywhere, where it could be possible for me to live. But, thanks to my undying streak of bad luck, I found nothing I could afford even if I got a job, which I did at the bookstore, but I applied for the school and got in. Then, to my utter shock and dismay, Uncle Cal found me and bought us a big house that was hidden from the town. He decided he should be there for me, just as my legal guardian, but he wasn't going to really take care of me. At least I got fed most of the time and had a nice roof over my head. I figured it wouldn't be that bad.

Being from Ireland, I always had my accent when I spoke to anyone, and my long hair was a fiery crimson around my pale face. I also had dimple when I flashed my straight white smile, and most of the time that distracted people from the two scars that ran from my right temple across to left jaw; I had spent the night with my cousin, Donna, who had been my Uncle Gage's daughter, and my uncle had been drunk that night when he attacked us. I had never been allowed in that house again, but do I look like an idiot? Why would I ever go back to that madman, even if he was still alive?

At school, I am generally popular, but I'm not like Mandy Suvan, the most popular and gaudy girl in the school, thank God for that. People just tend to hang around me, an Irish rebel, because I am a mystery to everyone. I don't mind the people that hang around me; most of are pretty nice or just weird, which I like, and they like me right back. They even invite me to their parties, but I don't come to a lot of them. No one knows I live with an insane uncle who has raging spasm fits, and my large group of friends find it irritating when I tell them no. I hate to disappoint them, especially if they say something is going to be amazing, but... I just don't want to go, alright?

I hadn't even been in the city for six months when I saw them for the first time.

I was out late, roaming the streets because I didn't want go home and didn't have somewhere else to go. While walking, I saw the group hanging around an abandoned parking lot, waiting for something to end. The group or gang or colt or something like that had only guys; I could tell who was their leader, which was the one with cropped caramel hair, tan skin, and was well muscled, and he always had a serious, calm face on, a poker face. He looked like a strong leader too, maybe even feared.

I started watching them from afar, spying on almost everything they did. Please notice the 'almost' in that. They didn't seem that bad, just a large group of guys that had street races and worked on cars that they take. Okay, yes, they stole cars, but seriously, they seemed really nice, almost like good friends or brothers to each other, for a gang or whatever. Besides, I loved cars.

But here's the real downer. There was never a single girl around them. How could I possibly join them if they didn't even allow their girlfriends to come in their shop? I wanted to join because, back in Ireland, I had worked with my greatest friend in the whole universe, Declan, with cars. I learned everything from him, and he even learned a few tricks from me. Just for the fun of it, we had learned how to boost cars the fastest, and I had always been faster than him. He said I was the best of the best, and always would be.

Anyhow, back to me getting into this group of car dealing dudes that would most likely get along better with me. There had to be something I could do to really show them I was capable of being with them. I thought it over and over until my brain started hurting...but then it hit like a sudden cold gust of wind.  

It was risky, chancy, mistakable, and doubtful, but I had to try. After I thought it over a little more, I decided I would go through with it. On their next boost, I would follow them; then I would show them how to boost for real and impress them so much they would let me join. But here was the real test. I was going to dress completely like a guy and find a way to cover my face.  

I sure hoped this would work.

*****

I had snuck and wove my way through enough to get the basic information of where and when their boost was. My plan seemed more and more likely to succeed as I planned it more through with all the information, and soon I really believed in it. I knew I could do this.

I started to recall everything Declan and I use to do with motorcycles and cars; how to fix them up, how it suit them up, horsepower, engines, boosting...basically everything in mechanics. I flipped through some books in the store at my job to recall and learn even more, and it really helped me a lot. I believed in Declan's words one more, and the more I got into this, the more I realized I loved cars; racing them, fixing them, just seeing a sweet car made me feel giddy. I realized I was a total car fanatic freak.

I also took the time to observe how guys walk, stand, talk, hang out, greet, treat each other, behavior, etc. I mostly took in the guys that were like ones I was going to be hanging with, but since there weren't a whole lot, I took observation to others as well. By the time came, I was almost convinced that the guy gender was a completely different species.

But I was ready.